u/Enough-Chocolate-861

I cried a lot yesterday so I’ll try to make this brief because I don’t want to break down again.

Yesterday evening I was at home when I heard strange noises outside. I looked through the window and saw a cat that usually comes around here. At first I thought he was just playing, until I realized a dog was attacking him.

I panicked and ran outside screaming for the dog to stop, I was trying to intimidate it And at the same time screaming for someone to help me. The cat almost made it to a tree, but the dog caught him again. I grabbed a broom that was nearby and tried hitting and pushing the dog away, but it wouldn’t stop. A man finally came running to help me, managed to get the dog to back off, but she grabbed the cat again for few seconds and eventually the owner and was able to stop it.

The cat was badly injured. I was shaking and crying trying to figure out where to take him and who to call. They kept telling me to leave him there to die alone because there was “nothing I could do,” but I refused to abandon him.

Thoughts were rushing too fast and I was looking fast for a place on my phone where I could take him to be treated. I called my boyfriend’s mom, then my boyfriend, and found a 24-hour emergency vet. they said I could bring him. I was determined to save him no matter what it cost. however while making these calls, and waiting for my neighbor to get me a box ( I didn’t have one big enough for him) there was a moment where he tried to get up and walk or run. He was struggling so hard and looked confused. I thought maybe that was a good sign, because it meant he still had strength left in him. But I think it was just his last rush of adrenaline.

Then he stopped moving completely.

It aches my heart so much. It feels like it broke something inside me.

The dog owner kept insisting she would “take care of it” and leave him somewhere because the body would “smell”. Even though I told her many times that I was the one who’s gonna take care of him. There was no chance I’d give him to her. I was determined not to leave him alone.

I called again the emergency vet, to tell them that the cat didn’t make it, and that I would like advice on my next move. She was very sweet and offered free after care. She told me I could bring him there and they could help with burial or cremation services.

My boyfriend came and drove me and the cat there. They checked for a microchip, but he didn’t have one. Then they had me sign papers, and she explained they would cremate him. I asked why they couldn’t bury him because burial felt more respectful to me, like what we do. I don’t fully remember her explanation because my mind was overwhelmed.

I also asked if they clean them before cremation, and she said no. Every answer just broke my heart more for this poor cat.

In the end, I agreed to the cremation. Later I found out they spread the ashes in a memorial place with other animals. I still don’t know if I made the right decision. Part of me wishes I had asked to keep his ashes. But I didn’t think it was an option till now. Maybe I could still call and ask.

When my boyfriend drove me back home, I saw the other cat that usually stayed with him. I think they were friendsz Seeing that cat alone broke me all over again because it felt like he was wondering where his friend had gone.

I tried to say hi to him, but he got scared and ran away.

I cried so much that my eyes can barely open today.

I also keep replaying everything in my head, wondering if I did the right thing or if I could have done more. Maybe when I first saw the dog on him, I should have reacted faster. Maybe I should have grabbed something bigger or stronger to hit the dog with. The broom wasn’t as strong as I needed it to be. Or maybe I should have physically grabbed the dog myself, no matter the risk. I keep thinking that cat should have made it. He almost did when he climbed the tree. He was so close.

And as crazy as it might sound, part of me really wants that cat to spiritually reach out to me somehow. I want to feel his presence and want him to tell me that it’s okay, that I did all that I could, and that this is just how things happened and that he is really is okay where he is. Because right now, the pain is eating me alive.

I cried a lot yesterday so I’ll try to make this brief because I don’t want to break down again.

Yesterday evening I was at home when I heard strange noises outside. I looked through the window and saw a cat that usually comes around here. At first I thought he was just playing, until I realized a dog was attacking him.

I panicked and ran outside screaming for the dog to stop, I was trying to intimidate it And at the same time screaming for someone to help me. The cat almost made it to a tree, but the dog caught him again. I grabbed a broom that was nearby and tried hitting and pushing the dog away, but it wouldn’t stop. A man finally came running to help me, managed to get the dog to back off, but she grabbed the cat again for few seconds and eventually the owner and was able to stop it.

The cat was badly injured. I was shaking and crying trying to figure out where to take him and who to call. They kept telling me to leave him there to die alone because there was “nothing I could do,” but I refused to abandon him.

Thoughts were rushing too fast and I was looking fast for a place on my phone where I could take him to be treated. I called my boyfriend’s mom, then my boyfriend, and found a 24-hour emergency vet. they said I could bring him. I was determined to save him no matter what it cost. however while making these calls, and waiting for my neighbor to get me a box ( I didn’t have one big enough for him) there was a moment where he tried to get up and walk or run. He was struggling so hard and looked confused. I thought maybe that was a good sign, because it meant he still had strength left in him. But I think it was just his last rush of adrenaline.

Then he stopped moving completely.

It aches my heart so much. It feels like it broke something inside me.

The dog owner kept insisting she would “take care of it” and leave him somewhere because the body would “smell”. Even though I told her many times that I was the one who’s gonna take care of him. There was no chance I’d give him to her. I was determined not to leave him alone.

I called again the emergency vet, to tell them that the cat didn’t make it, and that I would like advice on my next move. She was very sweet and offered free after care. She told me I could bring him there and they could help with burial or cremation services.

My boyfriend came and drove me and the cat there. They checked for a microchip, but he didn’t have one. Then they had me sign papers, and she explained they would cremate him. I asked why they couldn’t bury him because burial felt more respectful to me, like what we do. I don’t fully remember her explanation because my mind was overwhelmed.

I also asked if they clean them before cremation, and she said no. Every answer just broke my heart more for this poor cat.

In the end, I agreed to the cremation. Later I found out they spread the ashes in a memorial place with other animals. I still don’t know if I made the right decision. Part of me wishes I had asked to keep his ashes. But I didn’t think it was an option till now. Maybe I could still call and ask.

When my boyfriend drove me back home, I saw the other cat that usually stayed with him. I think they were friendsz Seeing that cat alone broke me all over again because it felt like he was wondering where his friend had gone.

I tried to say hi to him, but he got scared and ran away.

I cried so much that my eyes can barely open today.

I also keep replaying everything in my head, wondering if I did the right thing or if I could have done more. Maybe when I first saw the dog on him, I should have reacted faster. Maybe I should have grabbed something bigger or stronger to hit the dog with. The broom wasn’t as strong as I needed it to be. Or maybe I should have physically grabbed the dog myself, no matter the risk. I keep thinking that cat should have made it. He almost did when he climbed the tree. He was so close.

And as crazy as it might sound, part of me really wants that cat to spiritually reach out to me somehow. I want to feel his presence and want him to tell me that it’s okay, that I did all that I could, and that this is just how things happened and that he is really is okay where he is. Because right now, the pain is eating me alive.

I cried a lot yesterday so I’ll try to make this brief because I don’t want to break down again.

Yesterday evening I was at home when I heard strange noises outside. I looked through the window and saw a cat that usually comes around here. At first I thought he was just playing, until I realized a dog was attacking him.

I panicked and ran outside screaming for the dog to stop, I was trying to intimidate it And at the same time screaming for someone to help me. The cat almost made it to a tree, but the dog caught him again. I grabbed a broom that was nearby and tried hitting and pushing the dog away, but it wouldn’t stop. A man finally came running to help me, managed to get the dog to back off, but she grabbed the cat again for few seconds and eventually the owner and was able to stop it.

The cat was badly injured. I was shaking and crying trying to figure out where to take him and who to call. They kept telling me to leave him there to die alone because there was “nothing I could do,” but I refused to abandon him.

Thoughts were rushing too fast and I was looking fast for a place on my phone where I could take him to be treated. I called my boyfriend’s mom, then my boyfriend, and found a 24-hour emergency vet. they said I could bring him. I was determined to save him no matter what it cost. however while making these calls, and waiting for my neighbor to get me a box ( I didn’t have one big enough for him) there was a moment where he tried to get up and walk or run. He was struggling so hard and looked confused. I thought maybe that was a good sign, because it meant he still had strength left in him. But I think it was just his last rush of adrenaline.

Then he stopped moving completely.

It aches my heart so much. It feels like it broke something inside me.

The dog owner kept insisting she would “take care of it” and leave him somewhere because the body would “smell”. Even though I told her many times that I was the one who’s gonna take care of him. There was no chance I’d give him to her. I was determined not to leave him alone.

I called again the emergency vet, to tell them that the cat didn’t make it, and that I would like advice on my next move. She was very sweet and offered free after care. She told me I could bring him there and they could help with burial or cremation services.

My boyfriend came and drove me and the cat there. They checked for a microchip, but he didn’t have one. Then they had me sign papers, and she explained they would cremate him. I asked why they couldn’t bury him because burial felt more respectful to me, like what we do. I don’t fully remember her explanation because my mind was overwhelmed.

I also asked if they clean them before cremation, and she said no. Every answer just broke my heart more for this poor cat.

In the end, I agreed to the cremation. Later I found out they spread the ashes in a memorial place with other animals. I still don’t know if I made the right decision. Part of me wishes I had asked to keep his ashes. But I didn’t think it was an option till now. Maybe I could still call and ask.

When my boyfriend drove me back home, I saw the other cat that usually stayed with him. I think they were friendsz Seeing that cat alone broke me all over again because it felt like he was wondering where his friend had gone.

I tried to say hi to him, but he got scared and ran away.

I cried so much that my eyes can barely open today.

I also keep replaying everything in my head, wondering if I did the right thing or if I could have done more. Maybe when I first saw the dog on him, I should have reacted faster. Maybe I should have grabbed something bigger or stronger to hit the dog with. The broom wasn’t as strong as I needed it to be. Or maybe I should have physically grabbed the dog myself, no matter the risk. I keep thinking that cat should have made it. He almost did when he climbed the tree. He was so close.

And as crazy as it might sound, part of me really wants that cat to spiritually reach out to me somehow. I want to feel his presence and want him to tell me that it’s okay, that I did all that I could, and that this is just how things happened and that he is really is okay where he is. Because right now, the pain is eating me alive.