Beware of this guy - Please be careful, sharing my experience with someone I dated (Toronto / tech community)
Using spam acc for prvicay. I’m sharing this to warn others, especially women, about behaviors I experienced in a past relationship, this guy is dangerous and I want to help girls avoid this man or at least be aware if you are considering him. I causally dated a guy named Adan Butt from 2020 to 2023 (4yr years), he is in his late-20s now I think 27, works in tech, and studied at a UTM. Insta Madanb13 and snap Adanb13. Posting this here as he is an almnui and might come back for grad school and lives near by so u def would see him on dating apps if u go to utm.
I dated him casually for several years. Over time, there were multiple boundary violations. One time while making out, he slapped me and spat in my mouth without my consent, I dont even watch porn so I didnt even know wha he was doing but before I could say anything he just kept kissing me and I was so shocked Idk what to do. There were also earlier incidents where I woke up to my shirt being removed without my consent, and on our first date he kissed me even tho I had clearly said I wanted to wait bc I was religious and when i said to him "why are u kissing me, I told u not to", he laughed and starting kissing me again.
He also showed a pattern of emotional manipulation, being kind one moment and then insulting or degrading the next, frequently blocking and unblocking me, and creating confusion and stress. He is a dissmissive avoident and narcisst.
After we stopped seeing each other, we briefly spoke again over snap and he asked to meet w in 5m of texting. I told him to dm bc I wanted to meet to get clousre and then he said he didnt wanna text my number and he made a comment that I wasn’t his “type” because his type is super skinny girls. That had a significant emotional impact on me and I lost 40 ibs and when he found out he didnt do anything he was just trying to humble and hurt me.
After I reported to the cops what happened, he denied the relationship, spread negative claims about me, and involved the police in a way that caused me serious stress. He told the cops I was harresing him to have the upper hand and to punish me for speaking out.
Even after the relationship ended, I’ve felt that he continued to monitor my online presence, which has been unsettling.
I’m sharing this because I wish I had paid attention to early red flags:
- Ignoring clear boundaries
- Physical actions without consent
- Hot/cold behavior and control
- Degrading comments about appearance
- Retaliation when confronted
I stayed w this asshole bc I was 19 w i meet him and he was my 1st real relationship Ig and I develped a trama bond w him and even tho he was nuts and ass there were good parts so Ig I got attached. I am in a healthy relatioship now and happily married but if you’re experiencing anything similar, please take it seriously and trust your instincts.
Also he is very active on snap and dating apps and simply does not give a f about women, I would hate to see other girls get abused this way so if I were you I would not go for him or if u want to just be careful as he was this way with me and he said he was like this to everyone. He once told me I would only drive 40m for my wife or I'm dry with everyone, obi hes not gonna go into detail horrible shi he do other chicks so idk more then that but w that being said other ppl may have def experinces but I would rather be safe then sorry. Just my 2 cents. Attaching some of his messges as proof and insta and his pic as refernace so girls can be careful. His daddy is rich too so watch him see this post, be a little crybaby and report me again but idgf at this point some ppl need to be held accountible. Some other girl posted about about to beware of so I thought I would share someone argubly more dangerous lmao. Hope this brings insights to someone. Nvr think a man will grow up and get better sometimes it happens but its rare its better to be safe and foucs on mature and respectful ppl.
FYI his messges are only shown as he saved those messges and mine delted as they do if u dont save them, snaps deletes messges every 24hrs, y he saved those ones in past idk