(23M) Crush on a shy girl (20F), am I carrying myself well? Think there's potential?
Normally I stay away from social media so I'm using a throwaway, and usually don't care much for relationships or romance. I'm a guy who enjoys solitude, and I appreciate my own company, but I'm in no way opposed to a relationship that would feel right and doesn't form under pressure! And for each "rule" there's always an exception. Just felt the need to speak my mind anonymously here
Not long ago, my paths have crossed with this girl that I've been crushing on. I find her very cute and pretty, she has a calm and cute demeanor, and I feel very attracted to her. Oftentimes, I can't get her out of my head during quiet moments wherein I have nothing else to tend to.
We're part-time coworkers at a restaurant owned by a close family member of mine where I simply help out whenever I can (worth mentioning because it can differentiate itself from a regular coworker situation).
This means that there isn't always time to make conversation outside closing time, and more importantly that I would have to make moves with due consideration and respect in order to avoid making things awkward or difficult between anyone involved, including her.. and vice versa, naturally.
I've been aiming to make her feel safe and seen around me, making casual jokes and banter now and then. not putting on a performance or trying to impress her which I despise, just being who I am. Taking things in a slow tempo, expressing curiosity about her, her life, interests, ambitions, making little observations about her, encouraging her, etc. She has reciprocated by far most of the time I've initiated, and she has even begun to initiate occassionally despite being quite shy. We've gotten to know eachother beyond surface level I'd say, even if I'm often the type who prefers to listen more than he speaks, and there are days where we don't really talk much.
There are small things we have in common, such as having hated school, not being morning people, not being upfront and imposing with the way we tend to behave ourselves, we both like to go out and party every now and then, and honestly I think we get along well enough. She has even continued to remember and point out minute details about me that she finds amusing, such as that I don't like butter or cheese.
Particularly, she told me that she likes the idea of travelling, even if she hasn't had the opportunity to do so on a very large scale yet. I then told her about my interest solo travelling, particularly exploring "off the beaten path" destinations. Shared stories of trips to places like Transnistria, Armenia, Northern Cyprus, Belarus, and others. She seemed intrigued about this, we had a memorable conversation, I shared my food with her, and we really learned a lot about eachother that evening.
I've noticed that she has also allowed herself to be slightly vulnerable around me sometimes, talking to me about some things that have been going on in her life, things that bother her, things she looks forward too, etc.
Some things that have just kept my mind ruminating whenever I think of her:
She sometimes lights up when greeting me, even if it's subtle
Sometimes she'll gaze towards me if I'm sitting by myself and enjoying a break, then quickly look away when she realizes I'm gazing in her direction. This happens with eye contact in general, especially when she passes me (oftentimes she avoids it outright), though sometimes we'll smile at eachother even if briefly.
When another coworker teased her by saying "bet you're going to hang out with your boyfriend this weekend?", she simply replied "I doubt I'll ever get a boyfriend". Confirmed that she's single.
As mentioned earlier, there are days where we simply don't talk that much except for a casual exchange. It could be because I feel tired or simply don't feel outgoing that day, or the other way around, and I don't enjoy forcing myself onto other people, clinging to them nor making soul-crushing smalltalk constantly.
When her friends once came to visit, they seemed to look towards my direction for a moment as they were talking. I'm not acquainted with all-female friend group dynamics, lol
Either way, I haven't properly tried flirting with her yet, but I want to. I don't know if she's leaving a door open for me, maybe? Maybe she's waiting for me to try something, maybe not. I do believe I'm the one who needs to make the first move though, which I don't have a problem with.
I'm thinking about asking if we can exchange numbers or socials, and inviting her out somewhere with me. But my brain keeps making "is it the right time yet?!" excuses not to take this initiative just yet :(
There are probably several other details I could bring up, but this is already a wall of text and I'd just like gentle encouragement and perspectives I might not have considered (lol). To my advantage, this sub seems slightly female-dominant, so maybe someone can put themselves in her shoes? Either way, appreciate whoever reads this!