u/EnvironmentalTry8353

Guys I have purchased 2 desk jets which seemed not to work at all the cartilage seemed to be the problem on my ink tank the page suction is problem plus whenever I opt for double side print my printer gets jammed for no fucking reason but when I do it like suppose I take out book A's print out then after on he back side I take the print out of Book B's it takes print out fine but when I take print out of Book A both sides my printer pages just gets jammed so yeah there customer service is also trash and I hate my hp printers It just causes so much trouble nowdays our first hp printer worked perfectly fine for nearly 10 years but now we changed 3 printers and a new problem arises after every month that's just very predatory behaviour from this shit company

So here is the full context due to my traumatic life which is still going on and will never end I came to realize one thing that I am lonely but I don't even get basic human respect from people of my age.

So thing is I had a very shitty life and had worst possible childhood that a person could have emotionally and that is no exaggeration and I think this past has affect on my social skills for connecting with people of my age so I always tend to prostrate to people of my age like my habits or maybe body language shows that I need some sort of connection in the way which gives other the upper hand so I face to connect with people and make new friends of my age

I don't have mates of my age from whom I can command respect or maybe not respect but at least not draw ridicule to myself. I get a lot of respect from my people older than me because people who are older than me even 1 year old I tend to give them some sort of upper hand that I cannot explain I have clear boundaries but it some sort of thing I cannot explain but it goes on a subconscious level maybe that I tend to associate with people older than my age as well as it goes same for people younger my age I sort of am charismatic with people who are younger my age even a year old. The thing is when I am set in environment of people with my age I tend to prostrate I think in a subconscious level which gets reflected in my body language and then I draw ridicule and then subtly that transforms to disrespect and bullying can anyone pls help me get out of this

I have now realized that I was never masterb*ting to lust (I partially was now which I am able to manage) but the breaking point for me is always my past experiences of grief, bullying, ragging and my present....I have heard people just get busy with your task and all that but the career which I am pursuing I don't like that at all plus my loneliness like total pure loneliness just eats me up and I think I am just losing my life and peace of mind and my mind's judgement ability It is not related to p*rn at all but an escape from my shitty life
I always vow not to breakup my promise to myself but sometimes it just adds to much after 3-4 days and I end up breaking my streak I am also not able to solve my deeper unresolved past problems and as well as present problem it's not like I have not tried but It is just not possible and I cannot seek therapy as because of I am not financially independent
I just hope that someone guides me out through this rabbit hole