u/Enzotax

I studied planning for undergrad and graduated in 2024. Managed to get a job straight out of uni at a local authority and i basically work across a few teams including our planning team.

I really am passionate about this field and they know it but all i get to work on are basically ‘crumbs’ - meeting minutes, some work on policy projects and registering planning apps etc. I’ve been applying to so many graduate planner jobs but i’ve had no luck.

I dont know what to do and i feel like im going to be stuck here for a while. ive been here for over two years now and i dont feel any progression and i dont see them giving me any training opportunities to be a fully qualified planner.

23M, been with my gf (22F) for three years now. I am still in love with her very much but my mental health has deteriorated over time. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in her late teens (she said it would have been BPD but apparently she was too young to be diagnosed with that), and she can be very volatile with her emotions. Ive spent these last three years trying my best to be gentle, loving and attentive as possible. Ive never once shouted or argued with her and every time she’s had an episode at me i’ve just taken it in and done my best to calm her down and reassure her. I still think she is a great person, she’s beautiful, fun to be around and loving when shes okay. She knows she has issues and has said many times that she doesn’t mean the things she says and is really sorry (most times).

But she has progressively gotten worse. She stopped going therapy just under a year ago and stopped taking her meds. She has said and done things (adjacent to cheating) that have absolutely broken me but I just cant bring myself to leave.

I feel I am getting worse too, im just not as patient and emotionally i feel so drained. She’s been starting to call me out on this and said the whole reason she chose me was because how gentle I was with her when she loses herself. The other day when she had an episode, she was sad i didnt fight for her hard enough and i told her its because i dont have it in me anymore. I think there is something wrong with me too, I know some people might read this and tell me to grow a pair and dip but im so scared of being alone again and regretting my decision. I had my first girlfriend at 16/17 and it took years to move on and find someone new. Now that lm an adult working fulltime and having less social activity, i know all ill have is myself again.

Right now we’re “fine”. we’re talking and still showing affection normally, but I know its only a matter of time before the shoe falls again.