Just hit two years at my planning job and feeling like Im doing a bad job and want to quit.
I was hired at a large city two years ago to do long range planning for a very contentious project. I do not have a master's in planning and previously held two years of long range planning at an adjacent suburb. My previous role was 3 years of environmental consulting (this is an environmentally focused role) after getting my bachelors.
I basically am struggling with soft skill work. This is a very technical project and I feel like I am constantly behind on understanding our code and methodology while still trying to learn how different city codes tie in. Then there's the state and federal requirements. I also got recently diagnosed with ADHD and have had a hard time explaining the project to the public. My boss is harsh at critiquing and has lashed out a few times at me.
It's gotten so bad that I feel my confidence is at zero, I'm having panic attacks and just want to sit and cry every time I see a comment from him on my work. I feel like an imposter. Were a small team and I can't help but feel like a failure. He also treats me like I'm a kid at times (20 year age gap).
I feel like after two years I'm still not anywhere near where I should be in terms of bettering my project knowledge and I'm just a burden on my small team and my boss. I feel like they should have hired someone else who would have done a better job. I want to quit but I'm stuck in a lease and just adopted a cat and I feel stuck just feeling miserable.