I’m a mess.
If you don’t have the patience to read this just scroll .hi Reddit,I have no idea if this is the right community to express what I feel right now but I’m desperate to find help. I’m 15,I rarely watch porn (I do it when I’m really horny) and it has not affected my perspective towards love at all because I think of it as a way to get off quickly.
But 3/4 weeks ago I stumbled across the NSFW furry community. It hasn’t affected me at all until I discovered this guy called palacewolf who’s probably in an open relationship. I have no fucking idea what’s happening to me but for these past weeks this is all I think about. I’ve blocked him everywhere and haven’t looked at his porn in a solid 20 days. I hate open relationships and it was incredibly confusing to me,that made me cry and jerk off like 4 times a day to his videos. I guess the fame that he has did something to me because I feel like I’m the only one who hates what he does and also FOMO (fear of missing out)
I know it’s not my life,it’s not my business and I’m 15 for fucks sake. A part of me completely understands what’s going on such as I know that behind those scenes there’s drama,jealousy and others but one part of myself tells me to keep checking his page and enjoy it,those parts are fighting constantly to the point where I feel like I’m haunted by this person. I also don’t understand because he’s not even my type and I consider that 120lb is underweight for an adult 💀.
Even though I’ve blocked him,posts of him still manage to sneak into my for you pages,and that just made me feel like shit again.
Please help me.