I never really cared about anniversaries or relationship milestones in the past. I spent most of my life single, focused on my own goals, and the few short relationships I had never felt serious enough for those things to matter to me. I always thought anniversaries and big romantic gestures were kind of tacky.
That changed when I met my current boyfriend. Before him, I had one relationship that lasted almost a year, but it ended because my ex was struggling heavily with his mental health. After that, I spent two years alone before meeting my boyfriend now - the person I genuinely want to spend my life with.
We clicked immediately. We’re best friends, we live together, and the day we got together means a lot to me. Because of that, for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to make an anniversary feel special. I made him a print of our WoW characters sitting around a fire with a note on the back telling him I love him, and he genuinely loved it.
I was also thinking about surprising him with another small gift today while he was away at a work meeting. He normally doesn’t do work trips, but unfortunately today happened to be the one day he had to be gone.
What upset me was that he basically said, “Ah shit, I didn’t get you anything,” and then followed it with, “We’ll just go to dinner or something the day after.” It made me feel like the whole thing was a chore to him, which confused me because he tells me every day how happy he is with me and how much he loves me.
I know he cares about me, and I don’t doubt that he loves me. But at the same time, I can’t help feeling disappointed. If someone says they care so much, part of me wonders why they wouldn’t put thought into doing something special, especially when they had the time and resources to. I think seeing other women being surprised by boyfriends who spent weeks planning gifts or meaningful gestures makes the feeling worse.
So now I’m conflicted. Rationally, I know he loves me, but emotionally I still feel hurt and kind of let down. Any tips? I'm new to this lol
tl;dr: Boyfriend away for anniversary (no biggie), but didn't get me anything, just brushed it off saying we can get dinner or whatever. This is my first ever anniversary with anyone. Dunno what to do