u/Equal_Loan300

old throwaway bc some of my friends are on here. i (18F) live in a small town where prom is treated like the social event of the year. i had originally planned to go with my friend, let’s call her verity (also 18F) since we’ve been close for a while. my boyfriend, let’s call him logan (20M) couldn’t come as the school has restrictions about outside guests over a certain age. even if they made exceptions, i don't think he would've wanted to deal with the judgment anyway. basically, i figured going with verity would still be fun.

i ended up actually deciding not to go at all. i wanted to spend time with logan instead, and honestly i was relieved to skip the whole thing. i didn’t want to sit through prom pretending i was having the time of my life while my boyfriend was stuck at home.

here’s the thing though: verity and i have always had a really complicated friendship. i’m unlabeled, i’d call myself sexually fluid because i’ve dated guys, had crushes on girls, etc. verity comes from a really conservative republican family, and while she's never labeled herself as anything other than straight, there’s been moments over the years that made me question whether things were entirely platonic on her end, e.g. we’ve made out at parties before but this was when alcohol was involved. she has also told me she loves me. i always saw it as intense friendship because that's honestly how girls in my circle sometimes talk to each other, so i would tell her i loved her too. if i’m being honest, there was probably a point where i had some kinda feelings for her. i pushed that down pretty hard because it wasn’t gonna happen and she was never going to come out while living under her parents' roof and our town isn’t that progressive at all. eventually i started dating logan and committed to that relationship.

in my mind, verity and i are friends but with some pretty weird boundaries that neither of us have ever properly addressed. i may have given mixed signals without meaning to, especially because i helped her pick out her dress and told her she looked great in it so i can see how that maybe might have made things more confusing for her? (there may or may not have been a hookup in the past too, i’m not getting into that). like i said i genuinely didn't think it was set in stone. i kept meaning to text her, then prom night happened and i just... didn't. i kinda assumed she would figure it out. part of me also wonders if i avoided it because i was anxious about showing up to prom with a girl in our town. maybe i chickened out, i honestly don't know. i do feel bad that verity ended up embarrassed at prom because i genuinely didn't intend for that to happen, however as far as i understood it, the plans were shaky at best. she also did have other friends there too!

since prom, i’ve suggested alternatives so we can celebrate graduating in our own way but she’s ignored everything. i’m being completely iced out. i want to apologise but i don’t know how.

AITA?