u/Equivalent-Part-2166

I have been engaged to my fiancée for 1.5 years (arranged engagement).

Since the beginning, her texting has been very dry. For almost a year, she rarely texted first, and even now most conversations are limited to "Hi", "How are you?", or "What are you doing?" She replies to my messages but rarely asks follow-up questions or shows much curiosity about my life.

For example, when I was sick or even when I had ACL surgery and was on bed rest for a month, she only asked about it once or twice. This has made me feel emotionally disconnected and like I'm the one putting in most of the effort.

Over the last few months, we have been fighting a lot because I keep bringing up these concerns. From my perspective, I'm trying to prevent the relationship from becoming cold, but she says I'm always fighting.

What confuses me is that she often says I don't love or care about her. When I ask what exactly I should do differently, she usually says she doesn't know. Sometimes she says things like, "You don't want to love me, it's okay."

To be fair, she does sometimes remember important dates, worry when I'm sick, call when I'm upset, and show excitement about marriage. So it's not that she never cares.

How can I communicate my concerns more effectively, and what conversations should we have before marriage to figure out whether we can build a stronger emotional connection?

I have been engaged to my fiancée for 1.5 years (arranged engagement).

Since the beginning, her texting has been very dry. For almost a year, she rarely texted first, and even now most conversations are limited to "Hi", "How are you?", or "What are you doing?" She replies to my messages but rarely asks follow-up questions or shows much curiosity about my life.

For example, when I was sick or even when I had ACL surgery and was on bed rest for a month, she only asked about it once or twice. This has made me feel emotionally disconnected and like I'm the one putting in most of the effort.

Over the last few months, we have been fighting a lot because I keep bringing up these concerns. From my perspective, I'm trying to prevent the relationship from becoming cold, but she says I'm always fighting.

What confuses me is that she often says I don't love or care about her. When I ask what exactly I should do differently, she usually says she doesn't know. Sometimes she says things like, "You don't want to love me, it's okay."

To be fair, she does sometimes remember important dates, worry when I'm sick, call when I'm upset, and show excitement about marriage. So it's not that she never cares.

How can I communicate my concerns more effectively, and what conversations should we have before marriage to figure out whether we can build a stronger emotional connection?