Everything Changed Overnight
Everything was going well in life.
Completed my graduation, got a job in IB, finally felt like things were falling into place.
And then within seconds everything shattered.
My mom met with an accident and I lost her.
I was talking to her in the afternoon, and by night she was gone.
It’s been more than a year and I still haven’t recovered from it. I try to live normally, smile normally, work normally… but deep inside nothing feels normal anymore. I can’t control my emotions. Sometimes I feel completely numb — no tears left, just pain hidden behind a smile.
10 months later, I stepped into the corporate world from scratch as an intern. Worked hard for 6 months, got another offer, thought maybe life was finally moving again.
Then boom.
After resigning and accepting the new offer, they rejected me because of some internal HR guideline change. Just like that.
Now I’m in a new city, jobless, trying to survive on my own again.
And the one person I thought would be my support system — my dad — is having an affair with someone else. He knows that I know, and I pretend everything is alright because I don’t even have the energy left to confront it anymore.
But deep inside, the hate towards him keeps increasing every single day.
After losing my mom, I expected him to be the one person who would hold the family together, or at least understand the pain we were going through. Instead, watching all this happen feels like another betrayal added on top of grief.
Maybe people will say he has his own loneliness, his own life, his own way of coping. Maybe that’s true.
But as a son, it destroys something inside you to witness it while you’re still trying to survive the loss of your mother.
Everything feels so fucked up that some days I wonder why I’m even waking up and living for. Every day feels heavy. Like I’m just breathing and surviving without motivation, without direction, without any real purpose.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this here. Maybe I just wanted someone to hear me.