u/Equivalent_Ride_3381

Hi, I am a week into recovery after 4 months of a pretty severe an relapse, lost a lot of weight so I decided to get better and eat again. But it’s been extremely hard physically and mentally. I feel very bloated, tired, I’m crying a lot and very anxious to let go of my sick body with the weight gain.

The most anxious thing right now for me is, despite the fact I eat three meals a day + snacks, I think constantly about food and I often think about the next snack/meal I want to eat. But I don’t actually have physical hunger cues (I know its normal in the beginning but still). Even tho I KNOW there isn’t such a thing as eating too much in recovery, i feel so bad when I eat «extra » snacks without physical hunger. For example right now I’m full and bloated but I think about eating a Nutella sandwich, and I don’t know if I should do it or not…what if I want something else next with still no physical hunger in sight ? That’s the hardest thing about recovery…eating more than the  « 3 meals and a snack a day » doesn’t feel « neat », controlled, it’s scary.

It feels like I’m giving myself an excuse to eat because I don’t « actually » feel hungry. The food noise is loud and I am scared to indulge it even if I know that probably the best decision I should make. I guess I don’t trust my body at all. Recovery is very hard right now, but I won’t give up 🫩🤓

Hi!

I’m on day 3 of recovery after a 4 month violent an relapse (Had an ED with ups and downs since 15, currently 23). I am very motivated and determined, however yesterday I had breakfast, lunch and dinner but felt VERY full (I was nauseous after dinner and had to lay down, almost threw up) even tho I didn’t eat NEAR enough calories/food. It’s very frustrating because mentally I am ready to tackle my disorder but physically the symptoms are very tough (stomach pain/bloating, nausea, no appetite/physical hunger, low digestion). I am also very tired and sleepy since yesterday even tho I eat more (does anyone has an explanation for this too?).

How can I navigate these symptoms while making sure I eat enough ? Do I still eat three meals + snacks a day even tho it’s painful ? Any tips to ease the physical symptoms ? Should I prioritize certain foods that are easier to digest ? :D it’s not my first time recovering but this relapse is the worst one yet so it’s very challenging.

And for more context, in three days I will have my first appointment in a ed treatment facility, it’s pretty scary for me because I don’t know how it will go, but I certainly won’t restrict until then and I will ask to not show/tell me the number on the scale when they weight me since I don’t want to be triggered by the weight gain that will likely happen on the next few days).

Thanks for reading !!🐒