u/ErenYeagerOn

I never thought I would ask strangers online for help, but honestly, I don't know what else to do right now.

I recently graduated in Cybersecurity and have been applying for jobs, but I'm barely getting any responses. I also need to start earning to pay my bills, and unfortunately, where I live, there aren't really any part time jobs or other opportunities available.

This situation has been affecting me mentally too. I'm struggling with depression and I'm honestly exhausted. I have tried my best to figure things out on my own, but right now I feel completely lost.

I'm looking for someone working in Cybersecurity, IT, SOC, Networking, Cloud, or a related field who might be willing to mentor me or simply look at my situation and give me some honest advice.

I want to know what skills I'm missing, what jobs I should realistically apply for, what I should improve on my resume, and what I should focus on learning.

I want to make it clear that I'm serious about this. I'm not joking or looking for shortcuts. I'm ready to work hard, learn, improve, and put in the time. I just need someone experienced to help me figure out the right direction.

I consider myself good at planning and strategy, but right now I need some guidance from someone who has been through this.

I know this is not the usual kind of post, and honestly I'm embarrassed to even ask. I don't expect anyone to give me a job. I just really need some guidance from someone who has been through this.

If anyone is willing to help, even a short conversation would mean a lot to me.

Thank you for reading.

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I’m posting here because I’m hoping someone who thinks similarly to me might understand what I’m going through.

I recently graduated and I’m struggling to find a job. Surprisingly, the job situation itself isn’t what scares me the most. I’m much more worried about what’s happening in my head.

For a while now, I’ve been feeling like life is fundamentally meaningless, absurd, and pointless. I feel like I’ve become stuck in nihilism and I can’t figure out how to get out of it. Things that are supposed to give life meaning don’t really feel meaningful to me anymore.

Lately it has become much darker. I’ve been having thoughts about not wanting to live anymore and wanting to leave everything behind. I don’t know whether I actually want to die or whether I desperately want to escape the way I’m currently experiencing life, but either way, I know I’m not doing well.

I’m not really looking for career advice. I’m looking for people who have been through something similar, especially people who tend to overthink, analyze everything, or have an INTJ or INTP kind of mindset.

How did you keep going when your own thoughts convinced you that there was no point in continuing?

Did anything actually help you get out of nihilism? Did you find a reason to live, or did you eventually learn to live without needing some grand reason?

I’d genuinely appreciate hearing about your experience. Even if you don’t have an answer, knowing that someone else has been through this and made it to the other side would mean a lot to me.

Lately, I have been feeling an amount of pressure that I do not know how to carry anymore.

When I was in college, there were so many moments when I felt like I was not happy with what I was doing. I kept thinking that maybe I needed to find something else, something that actually gave me peace and made me feel like myself.

But I had family responsibilities. I kept telling myself that I had to finish my university first. I could not just walk away. So I pushed those feelings aside, kept going, and eventually graduated.

I thought graduation would make things better.

Instead, I have been trying to find a job for the last two months and I have not been successful.

Two months might not sound like a long time to some people, but when you are sitting at home, watching applications go nowhere, and constantly thinking about your family's expectations, it starts to feel much longer.

Every rejection makes me question myself a little more.

Am I not good enough?

Did I choose the wrong career?

Did I waste all those years?

What am I even supposed to do now?

I feel like everyone expects me to know what I want because I am 23 and graduated, but the truth is that I barely understand myself right now.

Sometimes the pressure gets so intense that my mind goes to a really dark place. I start wondering whether living like this is worth it and whether disappearing would finally make all this pressure stop.

And honestly, that thought doesn't scare me.

I want to find my peace again.

I am stuck in nihilism now.