u/Eric20255

Hello everyone. I’m looking for outside opinions on a serious family situation that has been causing a lot of tension.

My cousin is deaf and unable to work because of severe scoliosis, so she depends heavily on her adult son for support and daily living.

A few months ago, she traveled out of the country for about four months, and during that time her son moved his girlfriend into the house without first asking for her permission.

When my cousin returned, she did not make a huge issue out of it, although there has already been existing tension because my cousin admittedly has flaws and difficult behaviors of her own.

One major issue is that my cousin has very strong preferences about who her son dates. She is white and has openly expressed that she would prefer him to be with someone light-skinned or white. Her son feels that, as a 23-year-old man, he should be free to make his own decisions, but she continues bringing up her disapproval, which has created resentment.
At the same time, there have also been concerns about the girlfriend’s behavior in the home. The girlfriend reportedly wrote a note telling the homeowner not to touch her food and to “figure out how to eat otherwise.” She also removed shared paper products like toilet paper from the bathroom and kept them in her own room. She brought in a separate refrigerator to store her own food and keeps things completely separate from the homeowner.

Another issue is that the son now spends much less time helping or supporting his mother, and my cousin often has to rely on extended family members for food or assistance. Family members also feel the girlfriend becomes upset whenever the son does things for his mother, which has added even more tension to the household.

I understand there are flaws and mistakes on multiple sides here, which is why I’m asking for balanced opinions. What advice would you give in a situation like this, and how would you handle it if you were involved?

Hello mods,
There’s something I’ve noticed happening frequently in the subreddit I moderate. A user will leave a comment — sometimes even a constructive contribution to the discussion — and then shortly afterward their profile suddenly appears as deleted.

I find it strange because I don’t fully understand why someone would actively participate in the community only to delete their account right after. It makes me feel like there may be something else going on behind the scenes.

I’ve also noticed one specific user whose account appears to be banned by Reddit itself, yet they are still able to leave comments in the subreddit. The comments are not visible publicly, but moderators can still see them in threads.

Because of this, I’ll sometimes review a thread for rule violations only to encounter deleted profiles, while this particular banned account continues posting comments visible only to moderators.
I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has insight into what may be causing it.