u/Eschewed_Prognostic

My wife is from an area with a pretty shallow dating pool. Lots of oil workers, very "traditional" men (work away from home for weeks on end, then drink and go out or buy and play with expensive toys when they're home while wife handles everything, then complain about their family like they ruined their life). That's part of why my wife moved away, and she met me while studying here. One of her friends (we'll call her M) is married to such a man (we'll call him T). She became a SAHM during the tail end of covid. She's been socially isolated by COVID restrictions and her own immune issues, parenting, where they live, and his financial abuse (limiting her "allowance" such that she can't afford to do much). We don't like T. He's a prick. M settled because he's no worse than the rest.

We became parents ourselves about a year ago, and gave all her friends an open invitation to visit and bring their kids. M decided to take us up on it when T wanted to take their kid to a family gathering she couldn't bear attending (that's a whole other story). T took their kid, his sister basically does all of the childcare at these gatherings and she's a great mom which is the only reason M allows this.

So, M visits for a few days. She's never been to our area so we take her on a basic tourist itinerary. I'm functionally a SAHD that has a remote job. My wife is self employed and I support her business in a variety of ways. M watched us juggle our daily lives while hosting a guest. M and my wife went out on their own a few times for meals or day trips. They took our child along for other things to give me space and let me work. It all felt like a pretty basic, low-key visit. We didn't roll out the red carpet, it was business as usual with a third wheel.

A couple weeks later, my wife comes flying through the door saying "M is leaving T! She served him papers and is living with her cousin!". Apparently, her witnessing what a "good" husband looks like (I'm not perfect but I try) was the final straw. She went home and spent the entire day crying before T got back. What she told my wife basically boiled down to her not knowing what it was like to actually have a respectful partner and she couldn't go back to her life after that. She described things I did that weren't anything special for me to do, but were foreign to her, like considering her dietary restrictions when cooking or choosing restaurants, and watching my child while they went out and still managing the household chores. When T left for the fields again, she moved out. He's not contesting her request for full custody. Shocker.

I didn't really do anything and the bar was low with her but it feels validating still.

Anyway, homemade carnitas tacos and green beans.

I just got these boots on sale for cheap enough I couldn't pass them up. I don't expect these to last years. I know these aren't the quality of old. That said, what should I do to keep them happy? I've heard mixed thoughts on mink oil which I already use for my vintage automotive leather.

I have this full grain leather belt I really like but it's looking pretty rough on the edges. What can I do to try and polish this belt up to look more finished? I'm not looking for miracles, this will never be a dress belt, obviously.

Landlords planted this magnolia and haven't really been around to take care of it. I know I don't have any responsibility as a tenant but they're also good family friends dealing with a lot so I figured I could at least help make sure this doesn't become a liability later. It gets some water every few days from a buried line on a timer, I have no idea what flow rate it is.

The carafe of my beloved $9.99 Black and Decker 5 cup coffee maker broke today in a tragic dishwashing incident. Turns out, the steel band the handle screws to was just about the right size to fit around a mason jar of the exact volume required. None of the large thermoses I own are short enough, so this is perfect and $Free.99

I took these new jeans to get hemmed, I wanted a little break at the ankle and a slight taper and now I'm worried they're too short and the cuff too small. I'm probably overreacting because these are the most expensive non-suit pants I've bought, looking for confirmation or reassurance.

I'm planning to wear this suit to my sister's wedding. It's in Napa, in August. It's going to be HOT. Dress code is semiformal but she's told all of us she knows our wardrobes and to wear whatever we want. I was originally going to wear a fully lined charcoal wool suit but... Napa in August and the forecast is record heat. Hence the half canvassed linen blend. Now I need help with shirts and tie and/or pocket square. The last pic is the fabric in better light. I'm open to bold colors.

White shirt: Pro: collar fits better. Con: this is exactly the combo I wore at my own wedding. My sister is aware of and totally ok with my intention to wear this suit again but I would prefer to style it differently at least.

Purple shirt: Pro: didn't wear this combo to my own wedding. Purple is my favorite color. It's a more breathable weave. Con: I've lost weight and apparently it's all gone from my neck. The collar is too big.

Tie and pocket square? Other shirt options? I have a couple days to get something off a rack but not tailored.

I already have a nice quality heather grey tie.

Alright, roast me. Won't be any worse than the wedding heat.

I've posted a couple selections of shoes I might buy for an annual trip to workshop with my colleagues and management as a remote worker. So far, I've gotten absolutely roasted for what I thought was decent and I'm learning a lot (mostly that there is a split camp with some shoes). That said, I already own these two.

The darker ones have been my "nice" dress shoes. I've worn them cross and bar laced depending on occasion and suit. I plan to wear these with a taupe wool/linen suit for a wedding next week. From what I've learned, these may be casual enough for my business trip.

The lighter are my current usable but very uncomfortable shoes I've worn with jeans and short sleeve buttoned shirts that I'm learning may be an affront to fashion. If I don't buy anything, these will come on my trip with some light chinos and assorted buttoned shirts worn tucked and untucked.

I'm a remote worker in need of a wardrobe overhaul as I'm now expected to make annual trips to meet with my team. Our office attire runs the gamut of "tech casual" to classic business casual. I have some dark jeans, light tan chinos, and assorted short and long sleeve buttoned shirts to wear tucked or untucked. Will buy a belt to match shoes.

If you hate all of these, please at least offer an alternative that isn't $250+. These will be worn for maybe 5 days a year around people that barely care.

I'm a remote worker headed to HQ for an annual workshop. This is the first time it's in the summer, I normally wear a pair of dark jeans or heavier cotton pants and a decent sweater, easy. I'm also pushing for a promotion so I'm trying to smarten up a bit. We have no real dress code, most people I report into dress business casual at most. Jeans, short sleeved buttoned shirts, and smart sneakers are totally common but I'm ~30lbs overweight so that style looks wrong on me I think. Here are some shirts I already have, and some shoes I can actually stuff my 4E feet into. I desperately need some help picking 1-2 new pairs of shoes and would like suggestions on a couple pairs of pants to go with them besides my current dark jeans, and maybe suggestions for another shirt or two. I'm white with dark blonde-ish hair/ short full beard if it helps. I prefer linen blends and coarser weaves, I run hot and my wife says the texture suits me.

Smoked tails because the stock ones fell apart. I think they look ok, my wife says they're douchey and I need to stay away from the drywall.

These tires are from 2019, have checking all over, and it's extending into the tread blocks. I don't want to replace anything that's still usable but also don't really want a blowout...

Spinach ravioli and herb chicken thighs tossed in some olive oil and Italian 4 cheese blend. Plus a veggie puree pouch. I like to get a few pounds of thighs, season with herbs and minced garlic, bake them, and freeze small portions. My wife works all day on weekends, my toddler has low sleep needs and is sensory seeking, so it's hard to put meals together. Boil some ravioli, nuke some chicken, mix with oil and cheese. She loves it!