u/Euphoric-Slice-6266

Every couple months I get a random hate message in my message requests, usually telling me I ruined myself by taking t and getting top surgery and that I look like a freak.

It doesnt get to me because I like how I look now, am a happy person with an amazing girlfriend and don't really regret my transition, but it's really strange that people go out of their way to send hate to a stranger for no reason. Are they just targeting a population that they assume are more likely to have low self-esteem to hopefully hurt us more?

How many of yall are getting messages like this? I hope you don't internalize it, its a reflection of the level of unhappiness and cruelty of the person sending it, it isnt true.

I was really excited to find a dyke night in my small town, but after going a couple of times and talking to the people there I realized it was created by a bi woman who is married to a man, and most of the people that go are bi. I'm happy to meet any queer women, but I expected the majority of people at something called dyke night to be lesbians. I asked the organizer why she chose that name and she said she specifically chose it to keep away terfs since trans women were welcome.

Wtf?

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I understand that bi women and gender non-conforming women are also called dykes based on their appearance or if they are in a same-sex relationship at the time, so I think its fine for them to personally reclaim the slur for themselves since homophobes were using the term indiscriminately, but to label an event with a slur when you yourself are in a relationship with a man, simply to upset feminist lesbians really bothers me.

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I asked why she doesnt call it queer or sapphic night instead and she just likes how dyke night sounds better.

Now I want to start an actual lesbian night where we meet up to create art or music or have discussions instead of trying to talk in a loud bar.

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I've been to dyke events in SF as well that said all queers welcome, which pisses me off cuz you dont see events labeled Faggot, everyone welcome!

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The catch-all term for spicy straights and bisexuals is queer, why can't they leave our words alone? Especially the push online to redefine lesbian as non-men loving non-men, men and males have no place in our sexuality.

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I first came out as a lesbian when I was 21, then casually dated a couple women before finding trans discourse online and relating to their descriptions of gender dysphoria. Due to some childhood trauma I had been disassociating for years and hated being treated like a woman, so believed if I transitioned I would be happier. After 8 years of living as a generally happy, cis-passing bearded man I began to feel like I wasn't being my authentic self, and I was also dealing with some health problems like high blood pressure and atrophy.

My decision to detransition was the best decision I ever made. It was very awkward at first and people assumed I was a gay man or a trans woman for a couple years, but now I am perceived as a butch lesbian woman by basically everyone except trans people who sometimes think I am nonbinary or early transmasc. I have a beautiful, mature and communicative girlfriend who loves me so well and I am on a fuel reduction crew as a sawyer with mostly women, while learning how to build tiny homes with a friends business.

Does anyone else want to share their experiences of accepting themselves as lesbians after a complicated journey with gender identity? It's pretty lonely at times, most of my friends are bi or under the trans umbrella so can't relate to me.