u/Even_Apartment_7855

Hired a lady to help with newborn related things and she lives with us 24x7 but she seems to be a bit narcissistic and takes great pride in continuously saying how babies love her naturally and prefer her. I’m newly postpartum and her behaviour extremely triggers me. Baby has been struggling to feed from me directly and I’ve had to pump but this lady initially did the whole doodh kam hai, you overthink a lot, koi itna nahi sochta, you run to the doctor for everything and then says bura math maano.

While she’s good at what she does and seems to take care of the baby I can’t help but feel sidelined. For example she doesn’t bring the baby to me after a diaper change when the baby is playing, she keeps the baby in her room, she wants to comfort the baby when she’s crying even when I’m there and I’m telling her why the baby is crying. I hate to sound like an elitist but she behaves very unaware sometimes and undermines any homework or reading I do. I return to work in 3 months and I can’t keep changing staff. How do you stay patient with help like this?

On the heavier side looking for support and not straps that’ll kill me

FTM here to a 3 w 4 day old baby. Baby girl was born at 4kg (8.8 lbs) and needs 80–90ml (2.7–3 oz) per feed. I'm only pumping ~70ml (2.4 oz)/session (50ml/1.7 oz right, 20ml/0.7 oz left, 29 mins) so I'm combo feeding with formula to bridge the gap. I want to breastfeed for at least 6 months — not just pump — but I'm hitting a wall on multiple fronts at once.

Dealing with :
- Strong letdown in the mornings and evenings — she gets overwhelmed and pulls off
- Shallow latch - she tires out in ~10 mins, falls asleep, then wakes hungry again 30 mins later
- Large, soft breasts that are hard to hold in position long enough for a good latch
- The only window I can reliably nurse is afternoon when letdown is gentler (supply dips a bit then), but the shallow latch means she's still not getting a full feed

**What I've already tried:**
- Football hold (upright) — she gets upset and cries
- Side-lying — she chokes and seems unsafe
- C-hold / breast sandwich to help with latch

So I'm basically down to one usable position with two unresolved problems underneath it.

Has anyone dealt with this combo? Especially curious if laid-back nursing helped with both the letdown AND positioning for larger breasts. Also open to nipple shield experiences, IBCLC recommendations, anything really.

I'm overwhelmed and just trying to figure out where to focus first.

LO is 5 days old and my neck is already acting up with the constant bending. I’m a little heavier on the chest so I have this paranoia that I’ll end up resting my breast on her and suffocating her due to the weight. :(

Using the football hold position, I.e holding her vertically on the side and making her latch. That’s the only position where her nose is not getting smashed into my chest.

Thinking on investing in a recliner chair, feeding on the bed is hard with c section stitches and there’s no support on the sides too. Open to any advice 😭

FTM, 38w3d

Growth scan: baby is 3.4 kg / 7 lbs 8 oz (74th percentile), everything else normal (fluid, Dopplers, BPP 8/8, head down). Doctor strongly recommending a planned C-section. Reasons: “big baby,” head not engaged, I’m about 5ft 4 and 77 kgs.

I know India, especially private hospitals in southern states has some of the highest C-section rates in the world (. Baby is technically above average but nowhere near macrosomia by international guidelines (4 kg+). Head not engaging at 38 weeks for an FTM is also pretty common from what I’ve read.

Has anyone here pushed back on a similar recommendation? Did you get a second opinion? Any OBs/hospitals known for actually supporting vaginal birth rather than defaulting to section? Would love to hear real experiences before I make a call — EDD is around 10 days away.