r/twoxindiamums

I have been let down and want to know what is the expectation matrix
Basically who disappointed you the most

Two days ago I’m tested positive for unplanned pregnancy (I’m married). The thing is, we never exclusively thought about kids. We are a carefree couple and my husband is very sweet and takes care of me very well. We have been the happiest. I never imagined or think about kids, but gradually when I see people having really hard time after having kids I started getting scared and my husband is on same page as me.

Now, suddenly we are clueless and had to cancel the trip we planned for next to next week since it’s positive. While we both are having mixed feelings, we realised from now on our lives are gonna revolve around the kid and started feeling anxious. Like I’ve been constantly crying and shivering in fear even in hospital that doctor asked if I’m married and fine with it. They scanned and it’s a very early pregnancy and it’s gonna take another a couple of weeks for scanning.

My husband and I started listing down the upcoming things like baby shower, our last trip as a couple, maternity photo shoot, then my sister’s wedding, and then delivery and then another trip before baby turns 6 months and honestly it’s been beyond overwhelming when I was listing out the things to buy to prepare for pregnancy and postpartum. I mean, the list is endless.

Sometimes I’m bursting out like am I gonna feel myself ever again? I’m so scared of labour pains and the whole procedure as I’m scared of even an injection. My husband is very supportive and he said whatever I say is the final call. I’m honestly felt nothing when I saw positive like how my cousin said she cried in tears for her test. Do I lack maternal instincts? I’m literally feeling nothing but sometimes just anxious. Is it normal? I’m clueless like is it only gonna get worse if I plan to have one?

What kind of music do you play for your little ones, and from what age did you start?
I’ve been playing music while rocking my baby to sleep since 2 days, and he seems to really enjoy it. I’m curious whether other parents play Bollywood songs, lullabies, classical music, etc. and if there are any particular songs that work like magic for calming or putting your baby to sleep.

FTM here on my 36 weeks. I would like to know what kind of loungewear would be best comfortable for feeding (for indoor use).

The options I have in mind are:

1. Lift and feed (Zipless ones)
2. Button down nighties
3. Kaftan feeding wear
4. Side zips
5. Front long zips

I would also like to hear any other options that I’m not aware of.

Hired a lady to help with newborn related things and she lives with us 24x7 but she seems to be a bit narcissistic and takes great pride in continuously saying how babies love her naturally and prefer her. I’m newly postpartum and her behaviour extremely triggers me. Baby has been struggling to feed from me directly and I’ve had to pump but this lady initially did the whole doodh kam hai, you overthink a lot, koi itna nahi sochta, you run to the doctor for everything and then says bura math maano.

While she’s good at what she does and seems to take care of the baby I can’t help but feel sidelined. For example she doesn’t bring the baby to me after a diaper change when the baby is playing, she keeps the baby in her room, she wants to comfort the baby when she’s crying even when I’m there and I’m telling her why the baby is crying. I hate to sound like an elitist but she behaves very unaware sometimes and undermines any homework or reading I do. I return to work in 3 months and I can’t keep changing staff. How do you stay patient with help like this?

I will be starting solids soon for my 5.5 month old baby and i am wondering how to give her food without dairy or when to introduce them .
I gave lots of dahi and some ghee in almost meal to first one and she had cronic constipation, worried about how it will go for second one.
Can anyone experienced in this matter help me ?

I’m a FTM, vegetarian and Hindu, and there are quite a few traditional diet restrictions in my culture after childbirth.

I had also read on the NHS website that traces of what you eat/drink can pass into breast milk, and that caffeine from tea, coffee and soft drinks can sometimes make babies unsettled or uncomfortable. So I’m wondering how much attention people actually paid to their diet while breastfeeding.

What did you personally follow after delivery — especially restrictions around certain vegetables, fruits, dairy, spices, etc.? Which restrictions did you feel were genuinely helpful or had a logical/evidence-based reason, and which ones did you feel were mainly cultural?

Also, were there any foods you were specifically encouraged to eat for recovery, breastfeeding, constipation, energy, etc.?

Would love to hear what worked for you, especially from other vegetarian mums. ❤️

Hi, i currently use Philips avent and medela solo, both electric but not wearable. I want to buy a wearable pump for easy pumping - which i can also carry around, pump in the car, at work eventually, etc. i was considering momcozy s12 pro or promom neo (open to other suggestions as well).

Question is, my breasts have gotten significantly larger post pregnancy. I now use a 38C bra - will this wearable pump fit inside? Will i be able to use it even? My sister, who has much bigger breasts than this, said that she couldn't use a wearable pump postpartum because of the size of her breasts.

Is there any particular model/brand that would work for me? TIA :)

I’m 37+2 days pregnant and FTM.

My MIL has just arrived from India to the UK and has already started giving me lots of advice about what I should and shouldn’t do after delivery.

I know she means well and is trying to show care but I’m getting increasingly irritated because almost everything comes with a warning like, “If you do this, it will affect the baby” or “You need to take care of this part of your body otherwise the baby will suffer.”

I understand that a lot of this comes from traditional beliefs and genuine concern, but I’m finding it frustrating that every decision about my postpartum body is immediately connected to the baby, as though it’s all about baby and I won’t exist anymore!

I’m mostly reacting internally and haven’t really said anything to her, but I’m wondering — am I overthinking this or is it reasonable to feel annoyed by it?

How did you deal with similar situations, especially when family members had very different cultural beliefs about postpartum recovery?

Ftm here, My lo is 4 weeks old now. And since i can remember she only cries whenevr she is awake. She plays for only 15-20 mins everyday and rest of the time she either sleeps or is very cranky and keeps on crying .

Also she cries after feeding too while sometimes she sleeps. She also takes about 40 mins everytime she feeds ! My breastmilk supply is low so is it that she is not full after feeding?

Pls help me i can’t figure out what’s wrong ? Should i start combo feeding ?

Hi Fellow Mommies,

FTM and EDD towards Sept End.. Have started with baby shopping and getting my hospital bag ready..

I am really really confused about what cloths to have in initial days.. I bought few onesies (5-6 half sleeves and 2 full sleeves) and few cotton sleeveless jhablas, but I read that initial few days till the stump falls off that area should be kept open? If that’s the case, till then we can’t use onesies? And if not onesies please suggest good brands for 2 piece sets..

Also, how essential are sleep suits? And what’s your best advice for dressing up the baby for the night..

I am so overwhelmed and confused with too much information online, would really appreciate some personal advices…

Thanks in advance!!!

Hi mommas. Things to pack in hospital bag are all in place. Now how did you all pack and carry them to hospital? Just normal trolleys and duffle bags?
Any images or links would be appreciated. TIA

Baby not latching and doctors are against bottle feeding the breast milk , they are telling to feed from syringe or paladai , but its so difficult , we spend one hour feeding through syringe and all.
The baby is just 5 days old.
She latches occasionally.
She has lost the birth weight on higher side so doctor told to formula feed also in between , its so difficul to first spend 15 mins latching the baby , then if she doesnt latch , we spend 1 hour to feed expressed breast milk , then more to formula feed.

Is there anyone who used bottle intial days and didnt find it difficult for further journey or breast latch ?

Hello Fellow Mums,
Please suggest me a good Iron supplement so that i can bring it up on the next paediatrician appointment. LO will complete 7 months soon and started Raricap iron drops but the dropper is not good and since its white its difficult to see quantity, also its too thick for drops. Which ones are you using, that babies like taste wise? Thanks

Same as title! My 5 week old will only sleep on me and won't let me put her down on our bed. So far I've tried

1. Checking for deep sleep - Lift up her hands to see if it's light
2. Wait for certain time - I've waited for upto one hour. Bit the moment I placed her on bed she woke up in 2 mins
3. Laying her on her sides instead of on the back
4. Swaddling
5. Raised/ Inclined surface to check if it helps releive any gas issues

Nothing works!

Right now she's sleeping like a log on me 😂 but RIP my upper and lower back 🥹😭 It's tiring af!

Hi all! I’m due soon and starting to put together my hospital bag. Looking for a good electric breast pump under ₹10,000. Would love to hear from moms who have actually used one from the early days.

Also shopping for feeding bottles. I would prefer to avoid plastic if possible (glass or other alternatives welcome). How many bottles should I realistically start with?

Any brand recommendations, things you wish you’d known, or mistakes to avoid would be super helpful. TIA!

Hey Ladies,

I want to hear stories of when you were praised by others for being a good or a great mom.
I am recently finding it difficult being a mom, because I’m at my mum’s house and surrounded by so many people, and I keep being told about all the things that I am doing wrong.
When someone asks if I am able to manage my child alone in the city I live in, my mum jumps in saying she has great support of her husband.
While I genuinely appreciate my husband, I don’t see him taking care of his own child as an achievement that needs to be mentioned all the time. It’s his child too. But yes he doing things are all appreciated but I only am told all the things I am doing wrong with my child. Don’t do this, don’t do that, see your child is choking, see this is how a child should be put to sleep, see your child is cold, etc etc etc. it honestly feels like I cannot catch a break.

So I just thought maybe if I hear some positive stories about how you are appreciated for being a good mom, I’d get some great energy.

If you haven’t been appreciated, then I will tell you, “you are doing a fabulous job at taking care of your baby. They don’t know your story and you are doing your best.”

Hello everyone,

Currently 37w+4d, till now I’ve had a normal textbook “boring” pregnancy and have been preparing for vaginal delivery since 32 weeks, been doing the exercises my physio recommended and perinial massages 3 times a week for the past 3 weeks.

Had a pelvic exam today and the doc said my pelvis is small/average and have only a 50 percent chance of vaginal delivery. She mentioned she was looking at an 80/20 percent chance for a vaginal/c section delivery first.

I am going to be admitted on the 20th as per my doctor’s recommendation. She mentioned I’ll be induced and go through labour and vaginal delivery process first and if needed a c section.

My thought process is, if I need a c section I’d rather not go through labour and get a scheduled c section than go through hours of it for nothing, I don’t want to have a traumatic birth and want to prioritise my mental health.

I’m fully torn on what to do, should I go through an induction? Or a schedule c section? My doc wants me to try to breastfeed within the golden hour and heard that can be difficult with a c section.

I’ve also heard recovery is more difficult in a c section.

Any advice would be appreciated.

One whole year of ups and downs

One whole year of laughter and tears

One whole year of infinite love

One whole year of watching you grow

One whole year of memories for a lifetime

Indeed, the most special year of my life.

My baby turned one yesterday guys!!! And it feels like just yesterday that he was born. 🥹

To all those mums whose babies will be turning one soon, please don't forget to celebrate yourself too, on this day. Cause it is YOUR journey after all! 💕