Do I reach out?
So need a bit of advice on this one/in general - sorry it’s long.
(32F) Recently moved to a new city, met this girl at a networking event who also recently moved and initiated hanging out after (even though she got my number and IG, she never reached out). We went out for a couple drinks, and our convo was easy/vibes were solid. She mentioned hanging out again and seemed super keen.
Over the next couple weeks we made a couple tentative plans but it just didn’t work out, and I asked her more than once if she wanted to join in on plans I already had but she was noncommittal.
Fast forward to her asking me what I was up to one weekend, reading my message then never replying again. The kicker was she posted a pic of her out with other girls that same weekend.
Since then she’s posted a few times and has seemingly met an entire friend group in a matter of weeks, whereas I’ve been trying to go to events, take classes to meet people irl, and tried Bumble BFF and have made zero real connections.
This is a seemingly reoccurring issue for me. I constantly feel as though I’m chasing connections, and people aren’t invested in returning that energy. I’m really lonely and can’t help that feel the issue lies with me/my personality if she was able to so quickly make connections in a city where I am struggling to do the same.
My question is this - I’m tempted to reach out and flat out ask why. I would like genuine feedback if there’s a way I’m carrying myself or communicating that turns people off, and - while my friends from home swear it isn’t the case - I often feel as I’m the tertiary or throwaway friend in groups.
Long story short: Making friends as an adult is hard. How do I improve?