u/Evening-Spread7461

I have a plan in mind but not sure if I’m going to. I care about my family and friends. But other then that I don’t have any reasons to keep going. The pain and thoughts are unbearable.

I think about taking all my anxiety pills Monday night and leaving messages and notes.

Any reasons to keep going? Besides just family & friends. Been very depressed and suicidal daily for months. I have no other reasons

Any support is appreciated

So I’m 26F. Stopped working at my cleaning job 2 months ago due to a mental health breakdown.

Not sure if I wanna return to my cleaning job. Even if I go back part time it would be limited to 20 hrs a week and the pay would drop down to minimum wage. Cleaning all day is physically exhausting. I thought about going to trade school for woodworking. But I did building trades for a year in high school and I hated it. I’d hope that woodworking would be better than trying to build houses but I’m not good at math

I’m a creative person. I wanted to do art in highschool so I did graphic design & illustration. I sometimes get motivated to draw again, but after highschool it kinda ruined it for me. I did think about opening up an online art shop or selling art on Etsy. Like making stickers, prints, maybe pins , etc. Especially since highschool turning drawing into a chore to me. I got into making model kits and miniature houses from Amazon. Really loved those but after a while I lost interest. I got a wood carving kit, haven’t touched it in a while. I thought about getting a wood burning kit but I’m not sure.

Basically any career path I thought about doing I change my mind later on. No other trade seems appealing. I googled some alternative careers I was interested in. Like forensic scientist, lab technician, occupational therapist, etc. but the thing about that is it all requires a bachelors degree.

I did one semester of community college then stopped going. Those careers seem okay but studying for 4 years and earning a degree just to maybe like it or maybe land a job, is scary. No guarantee I’ll enjoy it or I’ll get the job I worked so hard for. Especially student loan debt.

I’m very creative but I lack passion and motivation. I don’t enjoy working with people. I don’t wanna sit behind a computer all day either. Maybe wanna go to trade school for woodworking but not sure if I’ll enjoy that either.

I want some guidance or advice. I like to work with my hands. Not sure exactly what I wanna do. But going to college for 4+ years to earn a degree seems like it’s not gonna go well. Degrees are hard to get and it’s hard to get a job after u get the degree. I also don’t wanna be in immense student loan debt either.

The only trade that seems appealing right now is woodworking. I’d rather do something that takes 2 years of my time instead of 4 years. Whether it’s a trade or some sort of certification. I’m a creative person, but have no motivation for drawing or anything creative. I’m worried about woodworking as I’m not good at math, and I didn’t like building trades in highschool.

The alternative careers I mentioned all need 4+ years of schooling.

I don’t even know what to do for a job in the next couple months either. I’m 26, I er worked in fast food, retail or at my recent cleaning job. I used to work with kids before but don’t wanna do that anymore.
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Any advice would be appreciated