25M | Looking for someone who also wants to make hijrah
Assalamu Alaikum,
About me: I’m Bangladeshi American, born in Sylhet but raised in NYC since I was 8 months old. I’m 25 years old and 5’10”. I’ll try to be as detailed as possible so not to waste any time.
My interests: I love cats, most sports, board games and trivia, and I’m a big foodie. Tried 80% of the halal food spots in NYC and trying to recreate them on my own now. I’m always open to learning new things: I learned how to swim, how to speak basic Spanish, how to cook traditional foods, and now learning Egyptian Arabic).
I am passionate about making people laugh or smile, genuinely helping others wherever I can, and my cats (one orange, one tabby). I was once drawn into the rat-race of Western society and did care a lot about how others perceived me, as a mix of culture and my own perspective, but Islam has given me a better lens to approach life through. I don’t see the world as I once did, and my focus now is to secure my akhirah, whether that’s volunteer work in my free time, learning more about the deen and teaching others, or spending time with my my wife’s family, be it helping with something or just quality time. I’m into all types of sports (both playing and watching) and love to travel. I enjoy cooking and have been trying to get into mastering the traditional foods. I can make a pretty good chicken and broccoli, alfredo pasta, and chicken katsu, but I’m still getting down the chicken and aloo recipe. I try to be active as often as I can. I go to the gym every two days, have a walking pad at home to get in my 10k steps on a rainy day, and play sports in between. I watch/play basketball, watch/play soccer, been more consistent with tennis lately, took swimming classes a few years ago and am looking to take advanced classes soon, badminton, frisbee, biking, ice skating, and the list goes on. My next goal is to get into horseback riding inshaAllah.
I used to love reading sci-fi or realistic fiction books as a kid, but now I lean towards philosophy, psychology, and the occasional Khaled Hosseini (cried while reading A Thousand Splendid Suns, reading The Beekeeper of Aleppo now). I also revisit my Islamic books from time to time like Seerah, Stories of the Prophets/Sahaba, and Islamic history. I don’t get much time to watch shows but my favorite so far are White Collar, Suits, and the Taylor Sheridan shows like Landman, Tulsa King, Yellowstone, and Mayor of Kingstown. Watching the new season of Reacher now. Also a massive Marvel fan, I have a Tony Stark sense of humor.
The role of Islam in my life: I was raised as a Muslim so the five pillars have been an integral part of my life. However, at a certain point I realized some of what I’ve been taught is culture, not religion. I went to madrasah for a year to gain foundational Islamic knowledge. After a couple shaky months, I solidified my deen. At this point in my life, the five daily prayers and dhikr are non-negotiables for me. I pray in the masjid as often as I can (3-4 times a day) and I take Quran and Arabic classes during the weekend. I listen to Islamic podcasts and videos in place of music (still guilty of nodding along to some Bieber/1D/Arijit when it’s on) and am trying to improve every day. I know everyone has their own journey, all I’m looking for is someone who tries.
I’ve learned Islam through the lens of “Allah has made this religion easy upon us” and that’s what I carry with me through every affair. Interactions with people, my character and ideologies, and how I view marriage are all with Islam in mind, but more so the peace, warmth, and kindness part and less the rights and obligations part. I think someone who studies Islam will understand both sides, and anyone who trusts in Allah doesn’t need to lead with the latter bc Allah will take care of those things. But being able to find peace in chaos, warmth in darkness, and kindness on tough days is something we personally have to want and build.
I’m upfront and communicate when I agree and disagree, and I give feedback when I think it’ll be helpful. I mean the things I say, I don’t speak in code. I’m looking for someone who does the same.
Employment: I’m in tech on the business development side. I was recently working at a big fintech company but left to work towards my goal of moving to Madinah. I was in person so I applied for remote jobs and Alhamdulillah was able to start a new role that is fully remote. I will be moving to Madinah by the end of September inshaAllah, and with the visa requirements, I’ll be coming back to the U.S. (or leaving the country so UK/Canada is an option too) every 3-6 months for a week or two. Long long term my goal is to buy investment property in Madinah and/or start a business, but not until I have a comfortable amount for me and my future family to fall back on. For now, my income is enough for rent and eating out often for two people. Whatever is leftover will be for charity and travel.
Travel: I’ve been to London multiple times bc I have family there, I’ve also gone to Turkey, Spain, and Saudi twice for Umrah. I dream to visit as many Muslim cities and countries as Allah allows me to, whether I do it alone or with a partner. I think there’s a lot to learn either way, so I guess it just depends on how the marriage search goes. I also intend to go on humanitarian trips, could be anywhere from Bangladesh to other parts of Asia, Africa, and South America. I’d love for my wife to join me on all travel.
I think that was a pretty detailed description of me, what I’ll end with is I want you to unapologetically be yourself because I’ll do the same. I don’t want compatibility to still be in question after a few months, especially bc my timeline is 1-2 years.
What I’m looking for: Honestly I’m pretty laid back on my requirements. The only deal breaker for me is not wanting to live in Madinah, since I’m already making the move. Other than that I’d say we’ll get along well if:
- you’re also Bangladeshi American/Canadian/British, my parents speak Bangla and I’d want you to be able to get along with them, while still being able to relate to me as someone raised in the West
- you’re learned in Islam or trying to learn. I took the time to separate culture from religion and live my life based on the Quran and Sunnah. It’s also shaped the mentality I have. I will always put Islam > Bengali culture whenever there’s a clash
- you’re humorous. I joke around with and tease the ppl I love, and I’d want to feel safe knowing I can make a joke without hurting you
- the age range I’m looking for is 21-27 but again, flexible for the right person
- you also want to make hijrah. Not for me, not for marriage, but bc you genuinely want to be in the Prophet’s city
Other than the living in Madinah part (while still coming back to the US or elsewhere a couple times a year!!), I’m flexible with everything else, these are just the things I think will help us get along a lot better.
If you read all of this and think we’d be a good match, dm me with a similar profile or just enough about you and why you think we’d be a good match. Please also include a picture, I’ll share one of myself too to save time. May Allah make this process easy for all of us.