Am I delusional or does my dentist actually have a thing for me?
Really long, sorry lol.
I (24F) have developed the most ridiculously intense crush on my new dentist (~23–28M?) and I genuinely cannot tell if I’m being delusional or if there’s actually some kind of mutual vibe there.
For context, I’m someone who gets crushes often. I can acknowledge an attractive guy, fantasize for a bit, and move on with my life. This feels VERY different somehow, which is why I’m spiraling.
What’s throwing me off is that it doesn’t feel like standard “friendly healthcare provider” energy. Everyone I’ve told this to has independently said the same thing:
“He sounds unusually nice.”
There’s also something about the way he looks at me that feels different? He makes really intense eye contact, but it’s soft at the same time. He’s always smiling when talking to me, seems energized around me, and I catch this weird warmth/excitement from him during our interactions.
I know that sounds insane but I don’t know how else to explain it.
For comparison: years ago I had an attractive orthodontist who gave me a $3,000 discount on my braces treatment, had amazing bedside manners, always asked about university, etc. Never once had a crush on him.
So I can tell the difference between “nice provider” and attraction.
The weirdest part is: this dentist wasn’t even my type physically at first. Now suddenly I think he’s insanely attractive. So I think it’s more his energy/personality than appearance.
I also know there are ethics rules around patient-provider relationships, so I’m not trying to make a move or anything. I don’t want to make things awkward, and for all I know he has a girlfriend.
Anyway.
1st appointment for checkup & cleaning
This appointment started at 7 PM, which already felt late in the day for someone to still be upbeat and cheerful.
I hadn’t seen a dentist in about 2 years because I moved cities and didn’t have benefits for a while. My teeth are actually in good shape though as I have no cavities, just preventative fillings + impacted wisdom teeth.
First thing I noticed:
He did the cleaning himself.
I’m pretty sure there was a hygienist there who could’ve done it.
He had amazing bedside manners, explained everything thoroughly, asked questions about my work/life, and we had playful banter because I’m naturally a little witty/flirty conversationally.
He had this huge grin the entire time, really open body language, and genuinely the softest eyes I’ve ever seen from a dentist who’s working late.
At one point while cleaning my teeth, I overheard him talking to the DA (who's native tongue not English) about how he:
- plays hockey
- runs 10Ks
- strength trains
- does cutting/bulking cycles
And my delusional brain immediately interpreted that as him lowkey advertising himself 😭
Another thing:
While cleaning/polishing my teeth he kept asking:
“Does this feel okay? You can be honest with me if it doesn’t.”
I have NEVER had a dentist ask me if they’re doing a good job cleaning my teeth.
The appointment ended close to 9 PM. We made small talk about my weekend and he offered to walk me out to reception.
I felt bad because it was getting late and tried to rush out, and he literally told me:
“Take your time, don’t rush.”
He also reminded reception to make sure I got my whitening kit + promo gift card before leaving.
2nd appointment for filling
This is where my brain chemistry fully collapsed.
I noticed he didn’t walk the patient before me out the way he walked me out previously.
Again, lots of small talk and energy from him.
But while getting prepped for the filling, I freaked out because I didn’t realize I’d need numbing injections. I got awkward/panicky and he apologized immediately and tried to calm me down before continuing.
Then came:
“You’re doing so great… good job.”
Which apparently activated a praise kink I didn’t know I had 💀
After the filling was done, he apologized AGAIN about the misunderstanding with the numbing even though it wasn’t really his fault.
He also talks really fast with me, like excited/high-energy talking.
Then I asked if he worked at any clinics closer to where I live and he proceeded to tell me:
- every clinic he works at
- his schedule
- what days he’s where
He even suggested seeing another senior dentist if he wasn’t available.
Then he walked me out again and told me:
“Call if anything feels off with your bite or retainer.”
The NEXT DAY:
he personally called me and left a voicemail checking how my retainer fit.
Usually reception does those calls.
3rd appointment for bite adjustment follow-up
I booked another appointment because my bite/retainer still felt weird.
As soon as I got seated, I heard him greeting me loudly and cheerfully from outside the room before he even walked in.
The FIRST thing he mentioned was:
“I tried calling you but couldn’t get through.”
Then more small talk about my weekend plans while he adjusted/polished everything.
At the end he sincerely said:
“If you need anything or have any questions, please call.”
Then later I got ANOTHER follow-up call from the clinic checking if everything felt okay.
And I still have 1–2 fillings left, so I’ll definitely see him again.
I’ve even tried doing some harmless social media lurking to ground myself in reality, but he barely exists online and doesn’t post anything, which somehow makes this worse because I can’t even figure out if he has a girlfriend or what his personality is like outside the clinic 😭
So now I’m sitting here wondering:
Am I completely projecting because I’m chronically single and touch-starved?
OR
Does this actually sound like there could be something there beyond normal provider friendliness?
Because logically I can explain away every individual thing. But when I put it all together, the vibe feels strangely personal/intense.
Also, I genuinely don’t even think I’m his type, if he did hypothetically find me attractive.
I’m not exactly the beauty standard, but I’d say I’m pretty/charming in my own way.
So..
Is this just exceptionally good bedside manner from a younger dentist trying to build patient rapport? Or does this sound at least a little mutually flirty?