u/Excellent_Ice5563

Hello,

In my son's LL, parents pay a $250 volunteer deposit at the beginning of the season and once we fulfill volunteer requirements we'd receive it back. I got an email at the end of the season stating that I will receive my volunteer deposit back and to fill out a Google Form to choose Zelle or a check. I chose Zelle and have not received it.

Originally we were told we'd receive it mid July, which didn't happen. I emailed July 31 and was told they are still working on it. The LL sent emails about Fall Ball on August 10th and I replied that I haven't even received my deposit back. Supposedly they said they sent it August 2nd, which didn't happen. There is no Zelle transaaction from the LL into my account. I was connected to the treasurer and asked for proof of deposit and have not received it. They basically have ghosted me. I reached out to president, treasurer, volunteer coordinator and no luck. Should I just file in small claims court?

We ended up living with my mother-in-law after an emergency at our apartment forced all of the tenants to evacuate. I'm genuinely grateful that she's always opened her home to us. She's married to my father-in-law, but everyone refers to it as "her house" because, despite legally owning it together, he tends to check out of family responsibilities.

My husband and I have two kids, and my sister-in-law has two kids as well. I'm also thankful that my mother-in-law charges us very little rent—probably around one-sixth of what we'd pay in this expensive area. That generosity isn't lost on me. At the same time, for the sake of my own sanity, we're looking forward to moving out soon.

One thing that's always bothered me is the dynamic with the grandkids. Long before we moved in, my mother-in-law had this narrative that her daughter and her children were somehow struggling and in constant need of help. As a result, she spoils them with shopping trips, pays for activities and classes, and seems to go out of her way to provide for them.

She knows we enrolled our daughter in swimming lessons, and instead of simply being happy for her, she immediately asked where we signed her up because she wanted to enroll her other grandkids—who are practically adults and already know how to swim. She also makes a point of telling me everything she buys for them at the mall. Honestly, it would bother me more if she weren't helping us with rent, so I try to keep things in perspective. Her daughter doesnt drive, never had by choice, so MIL will drive across town to shuttle her and her daughter's around. Her bf works a decent job and she works basic retail but they are NOT struggling. She was a paid caregiver for her grandma but that ended once grandma went to a home and MIL always says shes the best caregiver, ect and once I said well many ppl can be when they are paid amd get desired hours (SIL cousin was working hours she wasnt paid for and overnights and SIL got to pick the 9-4shifts) MIL didnt like that. I typically tolerate the lies MIL gives but sometimes I have to burst her bubble.

She clearly favors her other two grandchildren, though I know she loves mine too. The whole situation is strange. For example, she's determined to attend every one of my son's basketball games. She went to all of them last season, and I've already told my husband I'd rather she didn't this year. She and my father-in-law have even told extended family that my parents never come to the games. What they don't know—and what I don't bother explaining because I don't think she'd care—is that my mom has been recovering from cancer treatment, lost a significant amount of weight and her hair, and didn't feel comfortable being around people she knew. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law wants the public appearance of being a supportive grandmother while often paying little attention to my son at home. One game, another grandmother was there, and she loudly announced, "Look at us grandmas supporting our grandkids," making sure I could hear.

She's rarely direct about anything. Instead, she drops hints and passive-aggressive comments. She constantly tries to push her other grandkids onto us for family time, even though we're not particularly interested. Recently, my father-in-law got upset because we declined a last-minute barbecue with his daughter and her kids since we already had plans.

The competitiveness is odd too. I had mentioned that my husband, our son, our daughter, and I went to a minor league basketball game on Thursday. The very next evening, my in-laws literally snuck out through the garage, hiding what they were doing, and took the other two grandkids to the same game. The funny part is those nearly adult kids have zero interest in basketball and mostly go for the food.

When they got home, I told my husband to ask how the game was. They both looked surprised that he knew where they'd gone, and my mother-in-law quickly bragged that they had "premium seats." Ironically, those seats are free on weekdays, but she paid full price because she doesn't know anything about the league and only went because we had.

Then there are the random comments about inheritance. Out of nowhere, she'll announce that the house is going to my husband and his sister and maybe even the grandkids. The irony is that my father-in-law has threatened divorce more times than I can count, and no one knows how any of that will actually play out. It often feels less like estate planning and more like a way to maintain control or remind everyone of what she has.

Also when she hints that she wants my husband to do things around the house she starts limping yet she bragged that her and her daughter and grandkids walked around a theme park last week for 9 hours. She always acts like shes in pain around us and is so dramatic with her health yet doesnt care about anyone else's (is even insensitive to her daughter who had some health concerns). I've seen my mom in horrible pain last year during chemo tchp so her pretending to limp or being over dramatic just makes me sick.

Thoughts

We live with my MIL due to leaving an apartment that was no longer habitable (fire). So overall I am grateful for her and FIL for letting me stay and my 2 kids and husband. However she is strange with my kids and ignores them at home yet invites herself to my sons basketball game. She needs to do the imaginary roll call. Also, my mom has breast cancer and looks totally different so I don't invite my mom due to her not feeling comfortable about seeing family members atm. But my FIL and MIL question why my parents don't come to my son's games (it's because their dumbasses invite themselves) and if my parents did go, they wouldn't like it either because then its a competition.

We will move out ASAP since MIL and FIL are retiring next month and although I appreciate the discounted rent, its driving me mad and i cannot imagine when they are both home 24/7. My MIL wants to invite her other grandchildren to sleep over yet we it's tiny house and my husband has already told her it would make us comfortable if she can just wait until we move out...she has agreed yet brings it up to me like as if i will convince my husband...she thinks shes so clever...shes very calculated but luckily DH and I are 5 steps ahead. We can never share about raises or savings or anything of that nature because then her daughter is so less fortunate....everything we say backfires so we don't share anything. She insists on going to my son's game to cheer hime on, show face, and ignore him at her house. It's completely bizarre. Next season, when we are moved out I don't DH HELL NO are we inviting them, no way..she has no clue about what's going on in the sport and in addition she doesn't even communicate with my son at home.

Also my parents are annoying me because it seems like they put very little to no effort into my kids. DH and I want to live near family however at this point I wonder why bother? We live in the SF Bay Area and it is truly expensive but now I am considering moving, it's our families are so unbelievably toxic.

My son has been playing LL for 4 seasons and is 10. We switched LL due to moving and my husband and I love the coach like hes the best coach we've witnessed. He has 2 sons on the team you wouldn't know who they were because all kids are rotated and my son will play 1st, pitcher, short and left in 1 game. He does this for most players. Many mistakes are made due to his coaching style but it builds up the players confidence and gets them exposed to different positions so its just so foreign to me since im so used to daddyball for the past seasons.

However the parents are so critical of outside kids (mine). Right off the bat when my son pitches a mom said there goes 5 runs. I couldn't believe it and im sitting near her. My son and her son pitch and they do well overall..and my son has never had 5 runs scored on him (mercy rules). She was also pissed because her son got hurt playing 1st and my son was placed there and she yells to her son, "see now someone else is stealing your spot " its pretty disgusting and I can never imagine treating a child like that. Its not worth saying anything and shes loud and pretty ghetto. Its just so bizarre and shes the ring leader of the parents.

I am not going to bring it up since we love the coaching staff and my son is having a blast and thats all that matters. However I never realized how disgusting and vocal parents can be. Luckily, I never experienced this and whats worse is shes so loud that everyone can hear her including my son. I think shes insecure because shes used to all the praises for her son (he is a good pitcher and fielder) however my son has developed so much over the past seasons the coach even questioned why he didnt move to majors. So I think its that. But I wish her entourage (other parents) would realize that she just likes them because their kids are still developing and making her son seem more seasoned. I truley dont understand that way of thinking because I cheer for all of his teammates. ANYWAY end rant