u/Exciting-Mention6439

Usually (as per where I live) only the parents of the girl and guy discuss the consideration of marriage. It's really crazy to me personally.

I'm so anxious about getting married in the future. Because I'd pretty much go against this culture ppl of South Asia worship simply because I want to talk to the guy I'm considering. I wish people actually followed islam instead of cultural bullshit.

Also, wanting to a have a separate place (not necessarily a house, even an apartment is fine) instead of the usual joint family system of South asia. I swear it makes me so uncomfortable to think about it. But people might try to shun me for having such preferences because apparently women of older generations have tolerated it.

Marriage feels so scary to me istg because I'm literally not allowed to have my preferences. And even when if I'll ppl its my Islamic right they'll see me as paranoid.

Also don't get started on talking abt the topic of sexual health with the person you're considering before nikkah.. pretty much a taboo.

Man, u just can't express how guilty I've been feeling.

Recently I've been feeling a bit low on my iman. I'm kind of questioning islam (in more of a constructive criticism-type perspective) and idk I've felt distant.

I really, really miss the relationship I had with Allah a few years ago. 'Used to wake up for tahajjud regularly and pray my heart out for my expectations and wishes. Everything used to be so amazing because I knew I had Allah with me regardless of anything.

But I don't feel the same way as before. Idk, it's probably because people see me as someone who isn't conservative (which I'm proudly not) and I feel as though only conservative-ish people get to have a closer relationship with Allah. Idk if that sounds odd but ig it's the feeling of not feeling worthy enough for Allah simply because I'm progressive in easier terms.

On top of that, I'm dealing with college stress, work, etc... all that is making me feel so uncertain about the future. So yeah. I feel uneasy even though I should be trusting Allah.

Man, I lwk feel so helpless ngl. I know it wouldn't matter in a few years but I'm just tired of people looking down on humanities.

On top of that, I'm scared abt getting a job and stuff. I wonder if the job market rn is ruthless to everyone or just humanities students in general. Im in 11th btw

This a kind of vent ig...

I'm kinda tired of my mom not providing me with emotional support. She's neither the most perfect not am I, but idk, I feel like she's lacking in helping me with my emotional needs.

I'm saying this because, well, parents are given a huge status in islam. But idk I haven't heard much about children's rights.

I've tried to confront my mom about us not being emotionally close, but she says shes not interested in doing so and nor does she thinks she'll get any benefit from it... I was kind of speechless tbh.

For context I'm a teenager, and I've going through a lot. I've struggled with depression, anxiety, su1c1dal thoughts, and self harm since the age of 8. And I've been SA'd multiple times by people I was supposed to trust. On top of that I'm from South Asia.

And I've not even uttered a single word to my parents about any of it. I genuinely feel so helpless. My dad's good... but idk being a girl, as a woman, my mom should understand me better yk.

She talks about how she'll never trust anyone not even her children, only Allah alone. I get that it's a good in a certain perspective but from another perspective it's not. It's probably because of her trauma.

I mightve been a bit guilty on my part however. I mightve not listened to her at times because of my low mental health. And on top of that, I don't explain to them why I behave the way I do, so they probably assume I'm doing it out of arrogance.

I'm so tired. I kinda wish I had someone close. I feel like even if some major injustice happens to me, my mom won't be by my side. Because idk, she prefers my brother more, apparently since he's more religious and obedient than me. And probably take care of her and take her to perform Hajj and stuff because he's a 'male'.

My mental health has always been bad, but now I'm losing hope. It's affecting my studies and skills and capabilities.

I'm not much religious if I compare it to my mom. But I am practicing. But idk, my mom has even at multiple occasions cursed me, and it has really affected my self esteem.

I really feel degraded. Knowing I'm that I'm a female child, who struggles who mental health even though it isn't my fault. Seeing the misogyny everywhere, and my mom weaponize her parental rights in islam... idk it makes me feel miserable.

Idk if Allah will help me...

I've genuinely never understood why people make it seem like it's mandatory to live with in-laws immediately after marriage for the woman.

The entire concept of living with in-laws sounds so stupid to me. There's no Islamic backing for it, yet the moulvis of where I live say stuff like "women should take care of in-laws" and bs of the sort.

I live in south Asia, so it's really common here. But I don't understand. Imagine waiting for so long to get married to a man you love but then living with his parents and siblings if not aunts/uncles and cousins as well... yuck. No privacy at all.

I'm not the age to marry yet. But I know damn well I'm gonna cause a ruckus when I'll tell my parents about it. It's either residing in my own house (him and I living respectively in our family houses) if he can't afford it or that we'll make it 50-50 if that'll be the case to get an apartment.

I just wanna confirm, again, is it mandatory? I genuinely haven't found a single instance of people during the prophet's time who resided with their in-laws.

If it's cultural bs, sign me out.

I'm 16f I genuinely feel like I've no future... my conservative mom is skeptical of me becoming 'working woman' and apparently only 'egoistic' women do that.

I genuinely don't want to solely rely on a man for basic needs. If he provides for me it's fine... but I don't want it to be that if this man becomes absent from my life for any particular reason... I'd have struggle for basic needs and necessities... I've already seen women around whose husband's don't provide for them and they resort to other stuff.

My dad provides well. My mom Is not a working women. I guess she's privileged enough to say that, but I've seem the other side as well...

Idk what to do. It's getting harder to earn basic bread respecting the modern economic status of the world. I'd probably have to study in a shitty college in my hometown and make it work out somehow... idk if that sounds delusional.

On top of that, I'm more of a progressive person. Kinda so is my dad. He doesn't mind the idea of me working.

My mom already sees me in the lens that I'm a liberal or smth (I'm not) simply because I can't put up with these specific absurd molvis, or that I don't discriminate bases on skin colour and misogyny. Or any minority discrimination.

I try a lot to get closer to Allah. But I struggle a lot to pray consistently. Even when I do I feel horrible because my mom used to shame me for not being the best muslimah.

So yeah. Idk. I'm making dua, I'm still very uncertain... I just hope future is bright InSha'Allah.

I just wanted to know if there are others out there who relate or if there's any women/girls who experienced this. I just wanna ask if it gets better (Hopefully you're fine though).

Thanks for reading.

Kinda a vent/rant... I've never been a religious Muslim (if that makes sense?) ever since I was a child even though my mom was super religious.

I remember in middle school I got super religious for some reason (was going through a tough time mentally) so I naturally kind of drifted towards actually practicing my faith. Praying on time, reading the Quran regularly Yada Yada. And I felt good about it. I even restraint myself from committing most impermissible stuff.

But my mom used to criticize me so much. Not for the fact that I was trying, but for the fact that I wasn't doing it 'properly'. I used to struggle with reading surahs and stuff because like I said, I wasn't the most religious. She used to humiliate me so much that I just stopped doing much at all one day.

Now she always talks about how I was such 'good' muslimah back when I was younger... as if she wasn't the one who made me feel like I wasn't doing good. I tried to tell her that but she just twists my words and says, "you shouldn't have listened to me or what other people said." Like damn I'm sorry that I was a middle school who was affected by her mom for shaming her for not doing good enough.

I'm not much religious anymore... I do practice kinda.. but even now I'm questioning my faith... albeit I still deeply love Allah's attributes...

I'm kinda tired of her judging me and treating me (or anyone actually) like a 3rd class person for simply for not being as religious as her.

Perhaps, if people like her gently guided others to Islam maybe people would actually be curious about it instead of repelling away.

It's slowly eating me alive. I literally process someone else's emotions even if I don't want to, even if my thoughts about their feelings aren't accurate.

I wish I'd stop feeling so God damn much.

Is there any sort of method to idk eliminate this characteristic? I'm so done.

Hiii seniors. I've recently graduated from 10th grade and I'm confused abt streams... I feel like I've genuine interest in arts subjects. But people are saying (and the stats ig) that BA degrees don't have much value.

And I feel like leaving out math gives me major FOMO...so... even then I thought I could major in IR with a minor in data analytics.. and I guess that requires a math background.

Also my school isn't flexible (as in to opt for humanities + maths)

But at the same time I'm scared of math...so...

Plsssss give advise.