u/Exciting_Giraffe_509

I need u rn

I promise ill syd

it’s like I have stuff to say but can’t put the words together right.

I know what I feel but I can’t.. like.. articulate that

I’m bored so I’ll try

tbh idk what’s up with my head lately. Yeah I been going thru high stress shit in life but if I’m being completely honest, these feelings started before the outside stress did. I blamed it on that for awhile. “Oh I’m just making something out of nothing bc it gives my brain a break from the heavy shit in my life”. Or “oh you don’t have feelings for them you just enjoy the light hearted conversations bc it takes you away from your real life for a minute”

But I knew it was an excuse deep down. I’ll stay honest, yeah I saw u simply as anyone else in the beginning.. but one day and idk what day, nothing I can pin point, but one day something clicked. I don’t even know what clicked but suddenly I was VERY aware of your existence, in an entirely new way.

Well then the rest of it plays out, as it usually does. The ebb and flow of you.. pushing and pushing to see how far you get, then it gets real and you scatter like a scared cat. It’s not a bad thing, and I’m not saying you’re scared or anything. Could be you just like to play, nothing wrong with that.

I should’ve known that I like to play too. But when I play, eventually I start believing the game. And that’s where it gets dangerous for me. And that’s what leads me to posting about a stranger on a sad sad subreddit lol

It is what it is

it’s like I have stuff to say but can’t put the words together right.

I know what I feel but I can’t.. like.. articulate that

I’m bored so I’ll try

tbh idk what’s up with my head lately. Yeah I been going thru high stress shit in life but if I’m being completely honest, these feelings started before the outside stress did. I blamed it on that for awhile. “Oh I’m just making something out of nothing bc it gives my brain a break from the heavy shit in my life”. Or “oh you don’t have feelings for them you just enjoy the light hearted conversations bc it takes you away from your real life for a minute”

But I knew it was an excuse deep down. I’ll stay honest, yeah I saw u simply as anyone else in the beginning.. but one day and idk what day, nothing I can pin point, but one day something clicked. I don’t even know what clicked but suddenly I was VERY aware of your existence, in an entirely new way.

Well then the rest of it plays out, as it usually does. The ebb and flow of you.. pushing and pushing to see how far you get, then it gets real and you scatter like a scared cat. It’s not a bad thing, and I’m not saying you’re scared or anything. Could be you just like to play, nothing wrong with that.

I should’ve known that I like to play too. But when I play, eventually I start believing the game. And that’s where it gets dangerous for me. And that’s what leads me to posting about a stranger on a sad sad subreddit lol

It is what it is

sometimes I get the reality check, it’d never work, too many obstacles, he has indirectly expressed disinterest etc..

but then other times it’s worse.

I get the REAL reality check. The type that’s like, why does it hurt? Because I have genuine feelings for him. When did that happen? And how? What the fuck it sounds so ridiculous. And I’m supposed to stay quiet about it. I’m supposed to act like nothings wrong, and continue this.

I mean nothing to someone I’ve somehow come to really like. I won’t say the other word.

Sometimes I do wonder if it’d be different if those obstacles didn’t seem as big, complex. But then I remind myself that if I was worth it to them, they’d at least try to climb those obstacles with me.

So then I revert back to the rejection thing. I’m okay with rejection, but it doesn’t make the feelings go away. That’s the main thing rn. How tf do I stop and when tf did it even begin?