u/Existential_Sprinkle

I grew up with a narcissistic mom and recently moved away from roommates that were a couple that's a narcissist and an enabler

It's kind of how unnerving how easy it was for me to fall back into abuse coping techniques because my roommate was the same person as my mom and I became the scapegoat

He nailed the core tenants of day to day life with my mom

He was annoyed that there's evidence that people use the kitchen (which summarizes a lot of small things) and he would go out of his way to use the water in the kitchen to fuck with my shower

He was also upset that I wasn't just like him and didn't want to be an extra fanboy

One of my more creative coping mechanisms was realizing that they have a quota for yelling at their victim and to give them small things to yell about so they don't go looking for new things and it worked the same for him

Somehow I still can't call it narcissistic abuse to people who haven't experienced it. I just tell people he's got the same personality as my mom because I'll get looked at like I'm the problem and "not all narcissistic people are abusive"

But it sure as heck is a specific type of abuse whether it was when I was a teen living with a narcissistic parent or now that I'm 30 and lived with a narcissistic roommate that's only 2 years older

I have about 12 years of cooking and baking experience and a degree in baking and pastry. What helps me navigate my allergy and the advice I give to people who want to get better at cooking is to learn some basic food science and techniques rather than going straight for recipes so you have an easier time cooking and baking with what's available to you

With dairy substitution, the first question I ask is what is the purpose of the dairy in the recipe?

It can be broken down into: flavor, structure, creaminess, grease/fat, liquid content, or a combination of those

The next things I look into are temperature based; what is the max cooking temp of the dish, the serving temp of the dish, and is it important that it turns brown

If you understand why certain ingredients are used and learn about the properties of DF substitutions, it's easier to sub them out with what you regularly have available

Sometimes there is room for creativity. One of the main things I'll do is if something calls for a cheesy sauce or the cheese is mostly there for flavor then I'll replace it with something else entirely like a naturally dairy free sauce, aoili, or even go Indian inspired with Tikka Masala

My go to cooking and baking fat is bacon grease because it's got some flavor, it turns brown at an acceptable rate, and it's got a nice viscosity for cookies and biscuits

My go to liquid is a full fat oatmilk or barista blend because the fat helps it hold some sort of structure

YouTube is full of free content and visual demonstrations that explain food science and will show you why ingredients work the way they do

One of the other things that's helpful to learn with dairy substituting is how things like milk foam, whipped cream, and butter hold their shape

When working with DF cheese, it's helpful to identify the binding ingredients so you can figure out how to melt it from there

A lot of the times it's corn starch and that's an interesting rabbit hole to fall down and there's a science behind gums and gelatin too

The TLDR being focus on understanding why ingredients are in dishes and why recipes work the way they do so you can mod whatever you want to fit your dietary preferences and eat more exciting things you've tailored to your personal taste

I'm a shop hand at a collision repair shop and some days, I do spend 7 hours sitting around just in case there's something for me to do

So I'm looking for something more productive than scrolling reddit with my downtime that can be interrupted at any moment and is inconsistent

My top ideas are learning some form of computer troubleshooting or Spanish because both of those make me more employable

I do have enough savings to still have something left over if my car was totalled so I'm also curious about learning investing like all the other financial advice subreddits push

But I'm not sure where to start