dating in birmingham
I find it strange for me to put this out on reddit but I honestly don’t know who else to go to, and I was hoping to get some insight from other people. But I’m a 22f that is finding dating very challenging. I was recently talking to this guy 25m and it lasted for atleast 3 months, I really don’t know what went wrong until I had asked and he felt that we were going too fast. I honestly didn’t feel that way unless my social ques are off. I was the one to initiate a lunch date to get to know each other and talk about non-negotiables. For me I really don’t have any vices, I don’t smoke, drinking is once in a blue moon…and that’s about it. Him on the other hand, he drinks on occasion/socially. Smokes 1-2 a week to sleep, and uses zyn patches. With the zyn patches, he did mention that he was wanting to quit using them, and hey I’m a big supporter for people quitting drugs/alcohol. For me I didn’t see those things as a problem because I knew that when it came to dating I wasn’t going to find someone that checks all the boxes on my list.
So the next day or two after, we ran outside together (fitness was another thing we talked about). With the texting I guess it was a bit much because we would either text good morning to each other on some days. And then I noticed that he was pulling away, so I decided to cut it off. Although I felt that I was investing in something that could’ve been, sometimes I think was he actually being genuine? Or did he really like me? Because after I ended things, for some reason I wanted him to fight back (I know I shouldn’t think that way). I feel like I’ve reached a limit to where’s it’s impacting my mental health. Now I have this tiny voice in my head that doesn’t want to go out and meet people anymore, and isolate. And look I really hate that for myself that I’m using this mishap to change my perspective on dating. Now I wouldn’t know if guys are being genuine or not, or if they’re into me. I did book an appointment with a therapist to talk to because unfortunately it takes me a while to process things and then I’ll get depressed with s*cid*l thoughts.
It’s just been really rough and I guess I need some hope and insight. It would be greatly appreciated , thanks.