u/Exotic-Map9546

I regret having a fear of being a burden to my parents. I was taught from a young age to avoid asking them for things. A common response was, do you think we have the money for things like that? Mind you, it was things like books for French lessons, clothing I liked (I had hand me downs) or eating out really. As I became an adult, my parents became better off. I still refuse to ask them for things as it seemed out of place and against what they taught me. I regret that I see our relationship as a financial transaction. I never want to ask them for anything as they see it as ownership. Fair. Their money, their rules. I just refused to play that game as I became an adult and work for my own money,

Hey there,

Yes you. I just wanted to write the future you a quick message. A message of hope. I know sometimes you think things that make you feel as though things are not worth it. Thoughts that make you feel small, sad and worthless.

Don't believe them. No matter the circumstances, you have value just as you are. You are alive and breathing, and have inherent worth.

My thoughts made me feel as though I had to prove myself in order to be loved. That's not right! What a silly thought.

If I saw a kitten in a field by itself, I would take it home. The kitten doesn't have a job, education or anything to prove. It is a kitten. Cute and small. Or if I met my younger self, I would hold them close and ensure their safety. Again, inherently worthy because we are all living and breathing. Inherent of what? I think of self love. I know this all sounds extremely like chraka soul crystal talk but when I talk about self love, I mean, controlling those thoughts, ensuring that you eat well (however you can) and making the most of your lot of life. And finding ways to make it better, if you can.

I believe in you

Hi there,

My aunt died a few days ago (possibly early 60s). I want to learn from her passing, to find a path to better. I have tried to keep the emotional parts to a minimum as recommended by the mods.

My aunt was eccentric, loved hiking and adored nature. Mind you, she had mental health issues, which I will not go into further detail with.

After reflecting on her life with a family member, I now understand the dangers of not building resilience from a young age. I don't think my aunt really had the opportunity to make mistakes in a supportive environment. As a result, I think she had a very negative view of her self worth which led to her eventual mental decline.

That for me is incredibly difficult to understand. You see, I am an individual with an Asperger's profile. I live in ways that can be considered "mistakes". e.g. consistently looking at someone's hands when they speak, getting frustrated with social politics in the office, not really feeling bothered to have many friends). I learned early on I am different, and that I really can't live life any other way. If I did, I would have followed (god forbid) a very similar path to my late aunt. Furthermore, I am surrounded by love. My family is incredibly supportive and close knit.

Lately, I have recognized I am a little unhappy in my current Master's degree. I realized that the autonomy to pursue my own ideas is fantastic, however, my supervisor is never here and I feel perpetually alone. I initially felt as though it was a mistake to take it on, even my supervisor had told me that I was a poor fit. I want to finish it because it is my job (it is funded) and I also want to prove him wrong.

However, I know that my dream career is definitely in another field. I am turning 30 this year and I feel as though I am late to the party. I don't have any debt, but feel as though I should have followed my heart earlier instead of choosing what was convenient opportunity wise. I am always a little short on money and feel a little constrained. I do want to invest in myself and my education, but am afraid to make expensive mistakes, I don't know if any of this makes sense.

I want to live a life I am proud of with my mental health intact. I don't want to live or die like my aunt. Any advice is welcomed.