u/Exotic-Street-3776

Hey everyone, my older sister suddenly had to put down her dog that she had for 9 years on Friday night. He started to struggle with breathing this week and was at an animal hospital for 2 days. My sister and her boyfriend wanted to come pick him up on that Friday because they were told that he was feeling better. But once they arrived at the parking lot, they got a call, informing them that he was suddenly feeling very bad again, so they had to make a choice to relieve him from his pain. He shed some tears when he last saw his owners before leaving the world.

Obviously, my sister is feeling devastated, just like the rest of the family. Timing couldn't be worse because our father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of unknown origin 2 months ago and his doctors expect him to pass away within the next couple of months. Would appreciate some advice on how to best deal with this situation now and what I could do to support my sister while we're already feeling down because of our father.

My father received his cancer diagnosis one week before my 22nd birthday, that was a month ago. Doctors struggle to figure out where exactly his cancer is coming from. He has metastases in multiple areas of his body and I see his health decline rapidly. He lost 30 kg within 10 months - initially he was proud of this achievement because he was trying hard to lose weight but obviously, my mother knew something was off. We only found out so late due to the mistakes of his previous doctor.

In the past 4 weeks since his diagnosis, he has developed heart problems and currently has water in his lungs. He struggles with breathing and he sometimes wakes up at night with intense pain. While we're still waiting for the results from the hospital, his doctor already tries to treat him regarding his heart problems. Said doctor also focuses on palliative care, so he knows from experience and straight up told my mother yesterday that he believes my father won't be around by Christmas anymore and he should rather spend his remaining days of his life somewhere nice with his family instead of doing cancer treatment.

I'm a semester away from getting my bachellor's degree, I have an important internship starting in autumn and I can't just leave the country now to stay with him in his birth place 3000 km away from where we currently live. I've been handling the situation well for the last couple of weeks, but I still see this fast decline and I'm scared, especially because I'm still so young. I've been working extra hard with my studies in the hopes of making my father proud, but knowing that he might not even be around anymore by the time I get my degree is destroying me.

Would appreciate some insights from people who have gone through something similar, even more so around my age. How are or were you coping with this? I've been trying to talk about it with friends and I have received support from many, also planning to get a tattoo that reminds me of my father but aside from that, it feels like all the worst things you could think of are happening all at once.