u/Exotic-Worldliness47

Hi!

I'm starting a 3 day fast, with hopes to extend to five days if I feel good. I've done 48-hour and 72-hour dirty fasts before, so any tips for an extended fast (when to take electrolytes, how active to be, refeeding structure, etc) would really be appreciated.

i.e., when do you start feeling better past day 3? And should I still try to be active past day 3 or just be a couch potato?

I'm also making this post to keep me accountable :) I've been really struggling with food noise and joint pain (I work out quite often) so I'm hoping this fast will give me some mental and physical clarity!

This is an extremely embarrassing post to make, but I would really appreciate some advice. I have a restrictive eating disorder, and have had one for almost a decade. Things have gotten worse mentally for me - to the point where I am in therapy and am trying to get regular professional help.

For the last two months, I have been stuck in a terrible restrict-binge cycle. It has become difficult for me to buy my own food, mainly out of fear that I will binge on all of it. This means I often wake up at night, and in a trance, take some of my roommates' food. Not large amounts, which is honestly the worst thing (as it makes it difficult to replace), I take maybe like a cube of chocolate, one slice of bread or a single cracker. (Not that this justifies my behaviour in any way - stealing is never ok). I always try to replace anything I have taken, but it's difficult to find the right time to add food back to her opened packages without her noticing. I am so ashamed of this behaviour, it is so uncharacteristic of me, and it truly makes me feel like a horrible/disgusting human being.

Recently, things have escalated. I often haven't found the right time to replace food that I have tampered with. Or if I have replaced it, I have given in to the urge and eaten the food I have replaced again. My roommate noticed once or twice, and she will move food that I have tampered with onto my shelf. When this happened, I immediately replaced the item and left a note and some additional cash and snacks, apologising for my behaviour, and promising that I would try to work harder on my issues.

My roommate knows vaguely that I struggle with food and that I am in therapy. We don't ever talk about it, however. I really value her as a friend, and I am so worried that this has ruined our relationship. She often goes to her bf's place now, and I feel that our conversations are more strained/distant.

I am so embarrassed about my behaviour. Especially since I have failed to fix the issue despite promising my roommate in my note that I was trying to work on it. It is difficult to bring up in person (hence why I left a note). I am so terrified that my roommate hates me now. Beyond just not stealing her food again (which I now promise myself to never ever do again), I am not sure how to address the issue.

I can imagine how frustrating and uncomfortable this situation must be for her. I would hate it if someone tampered with my food or if I found something was missing. I feel that I have created tension in our home environment, and I am not sure how to set things right.

Has anyone ever experienced this before? Throughout my ed, this binge-restrict/excessive exercise is a new phenomenon for me. I feel out of control, and the spiral of shame is really difficult to deal with. I would really appreciate some advice on how to maintain my friendship with my roommate, prevent any further food stealing, and regain my roommate's trust. :(

TL/DR: I steal some of my roommates' food at night, often expired food or from opened packages of crackers/cookies. I am so ashamed, and she has recently caught me since I did not get a chance to replace the item. Beyond apologising and stopping the behaviour entirely, how can I rebuild my relationship with her?

This is an extremely embarrassing post to make, but I would really appreciate some advice. I have a restrictive eating disorder, and have had one for almost a decade. Things have gotten worse mentally for me - to the point where I am in therapy and am trying to get regular professional help.

For the last two months, I have been stuck in a terrible restrict-binge cycle. It has become difficult for me to buy my own food, mainly out of fear that I will binge on all of it. This means I often wake up at night, and in a trance, take some of my roommates' food. Not large amounts, which is honestly the worst thing (as it makes it difficult to replace), I take maybe like a cube of chocolate, one slice of bread or a single cracker. (Not that this justifies my behaviour in any way - stealing is never ok). I always try to replace anything I have taken, but it's difficult to find the right time to add food back to her opened packages without her noticing. I am so ashamed of this behaviour, it is so uncharacteristic of me, and it truly makes me feel like a horrible/disgusting human being.

Recently, things have escalated. I often haven't found the right time to replace food that I have tampered with. Or if I have replaced it, I have given in to the urge and eaten the food I have replaced again. My roommate has now caught me twice, and she has moved food that I have tampered with onto my shelf. When this happened, I immediately replaced the item and left a note and some additional cash and snacks, apologising for my behaviour, and promising that I would try to work harder on my issues.

My roommate knows vaguely that I struggle with food and that I am in therapy. We don't ever talk about it, however. I really value her as a friend, and I am so worried that this has ruined our relationship. She often goes to her bf's place now, and I feel that our conversations are more strained/distant.

I am so embarrassed about my behaviour. Especially since I have failed to fix the issue despite promising my roommate in my note(s) that I was trying to work on it. It is difficult to bring up in person (hence why I left a note). I am so terrified that my roommate hates me now. Beyond just not stealing her food again (which I now promise myself to never ever do again), I am not sure how to address the issue.

I can imagine how frustrating and uncomfortable this situation must be for her. I would hate it if someone tampered with my food or if I found something was missing. I feel that I have created tension in our home environment, and I am not sure how to set things right.

Has anyone ever experienced this before? Throughout my ed, this binge-restrict/excessive exercise is a new phenomenon for me. I feel out of control, and the spiral of shame is really difficult to deal with. I would really appreciate some advice on how to go about maintaining my friendship with my roommate, how to prevent any more food stealing, and how to regain my roommate's trust. :(

TL/DR: I steal some of my roommates' food at night, often expired food or from opened packages of crackers/cookies. I am so ashamed, and she has recently caught me since I did not get a chance to replace the item. Beyond apologising and stopping the behaviour entirely, how can I rebuild my relationship with her?