AITA for feeling betrayed by my best friend for what she did behind my back and does to my face
Hi Reddit, this is my first post, and I’m hoping to gain some clarity by making this post. This situation has been going on for over a year now and I just recently found out some very hurtful information, and wanted to make a post since I am really bothered about what is going on.
For a little context, I go to a very small private school so eventually people are going to like and date the same people. I am currently a senior about to graduate and this situation goes back to the end of sophomore year 2024. In sophomore year, my best friend and my current ex (let’s call him pineapple) liked eachother near the end of the school year. Mind you they never dated, they never even had the title of bf and gf, they only had crushes on eachother. My bsf realized she liked him more as a friend and broke things off, while we all still remained friends. Fast forward to junior year in October 2024. We were on a soccer and volleyball trip where me and pineapple became closer friends. We eventually realized we liked eachother in January 2025 of junior year. Keep in mind we didn’t start our “talking stage” until winter break, the very end of December. Around the same time, my bsf started talking to another guy around November and they officially started dating in the middle of December.
On January 1st I realized pineapple liked me, and I’ve never been in an actual relationship, plus I’m a bit avoidant so I was unsure of how I felt. I told my bsf along the lines of “I think he might like me, but I don’t think I want to get into a relationship because of how you guys liked eachother and other personal things I had going on”. I never would have gotten into a relationship if she still had feelings for him. She told me to not let her stop me from potentially finding my true love and things like that. Mind you she has a bf by this point. Me and pineapple eventually became bf and gf and I felt a shift in my friendship with my bsf and two other friends. It felt like she was purposely saying things and leaving me out to make me feel bad and I didn’t know why. I knew they were talking about me so i eventually brought it up to her and asked if she felt some type of way that I’m with pineapple. She basically explained how it felt like a betrayal like “my bsf getting with my ex” and I told her I never would have gotten with him if she didn’t want me to. After that things got better and me and pineapple broke up in April.
We remained friends but it was pretty hard on me since I get attached easily. Fast forward senior year 2025 and I thought I was over him until I saw him again at school. I would confide in my bsf about how I still love him and idk if he still feels the same way, etc. typical heartbroken stuff. She would listen and kind of reassure me and stuff. Her and her bf eventually broke up in December 2025 and I started getting over pineapple, but the feeling never fades. When I would confide in my bsf she would turn around and act flirty and touchy with pineapple. I tried to dismiss it because we’re all friends and they were closer friends before I started dating him, but it still made me feel really bad. My two friends noticed it so I’m assuming she did to.
Fast forward to today May 2026 and I just found out from my two friends that that whole time I was with pines, she was talking shit behind my back. One of the things she told them was, how could he go from her to someone like me. Someone like me. Anyways, they told me all this stuff and I was in shock and shaking because I never knew she would do that to me. It happened last year but still hearing all that stuff now, still hurts. I feel like she’s been holding a grudge with me ever since then, because recently she’s been doing things like being all flirty with pineapple and other boys who show interest in me or I in them. My two friends have noticed it too and it’s just really sad to see. One thing that I can’t get out of my head was in April 2026 we were having smores. I left the house around 10:30 and everyone left at 12. I had a pit in my stomach and I was trying to ignore it because I just didn’t want to be affected by my feelings for pineapple and anything like that anymore. While I was there they sat next to eachother, her on the floor and him in a chair. She was balancing rocks on his arm, which I didn’t rlly care abt. I left and the next day during one of our classes, I’m sitting next to her and her back is against me but making sure that I can hear. She talking to one of our friends that was at smores and was like “that was so fun when he blah blah blah” I was trying not to listen because I really didn’t want to hear that stuff. I just knew it was about something touchy or flirty that happened when I left. I went to the bathroom because I was trying not to cry and I knew she knew. That friend eventually told me and was like “ I can tell you heard and knew” and she said my bsf said “I think she heard me” etc. apparently when I left he was running his fingers through her hair and massaging her, but that’s besides the point. I just currently don’t know how to feel about all of this. She still makes comments or “jokes” like she love him or she’s gonna marry him and my friends can tell it affects me. Even though I’m over pineapple I’m always going to have that feeling in my heart because we shared moments and things together. Yk.
Also she swears that me and pineapple started talking back in October on our sports trip, so whenever I bring up that fact that we started talking when her and her ex started talking, she doesn’t believe me because apparently she still had “love” for pineapple when we started talking. I’ve tried to explain that my timeline is correct because i literally have proof, and she’s all like “It didn’t seem that way from my perspective” like what. I don’t think it matters her perspective on it if it’s just not true.
There’s a lot more things but this is the main things. I just want to know if I’m in the wrong for feeling betrayed about all of this. Thank you for reading.