u/Expensive-Advance931

Hello po. Bago lang po akong OFW based in Dubai. I just wanted to ask po if alam niyo po kaibahan ng DMW portal and DMW online services.

Nakapag contract verification na po ako pero nireredirect po ako sa either website below. Though when I checked po, basically same lang din naman po sila ng mga information na available (i.e. Balik Manggagawa or Exit Clearance). Di ko lang po gets bakit 2 po yung DMW website when it offers the same services. Gusto ko lang po maintindihan at maka sigurado sa website.

Salamat po sa mga sasagot. ☺️

Also, nabigyan po ako ng OEC kahit na hindi pa po nagbabayad ng OWWA membership. Ibig sabihin po ba nun hindi po required ang OWWA membership para makakuha ng OEC?

DMW PORTAL

DMW Online Services

It’s been 4 years since I talked to my bestfriend. We were close, maybe bestfriends at one point. Actually, he was the one who labeled me first as his bestfriend and I went along with it. Well, kasi close naman kasi talaga kami. We belong to the same friend group in college, hanggang sa work magkasama kami, same department pa. Ikr. Stalker much? Kidding aside. Siyempre who wouldn’t want to work with their friend. 

We got along workwise and siyempre umandar yung pagka barkada namin where we save each others' asses from our boss. I can’t get into much details kasi masyadong halata who I’m talking about especially he lurks here in reddit.

Anyways, long story short. Natanggap siya sa kanyang “masters” (basta any further education, can’t be specific because of the reason above) in a prestigious school. And our boss was willing to accommodate his class schedule and opted him for a flexible hours and manageable workload. 

Siyempre happy for him and he was happy too. Sa sobrang happy niya napahanap siya kaagad ng “org” na masasalihan. Kahit na di pa nagsstart yung school year. He was excited meeting all his brothers-to-be. If you know what I mean. It’s that kind of organization. I have no negative opinion about those kinds of organizations. Because madami naman talaga perks, connections being one of them. He wanted to join, but me and our friends told him that he can wait before the school year starts to feel out this org first. Eventually he joined without waiting for the start of his classes. Even missed my birthday because it was the same day as him “joining” the org, which I rescheduled to accommodate his sched sana. Heads up there was nothing sketchy about the org at all. It was how my friend managed all the pressure.

It all dawned on him that he is joining a prestigious school and now he is a “brand new” member of an org. And we know how much pressure it is when you are new to an org. You get bossed around. Get called on random times to do errands and a lot more. All this happening at once made him spiral. 

He went into depression. He started questioning himself, his worth and his credibility to be studying at this school. His classes started, but he was barely catching up. And this eventually affected his work.

Our boss was not happy. I tried saving him multiple times. But there’s only so much I can do. When the boss wanted him to own up to his mistakes and take accountability. 

He started victimizing himself. Saying we (our friends) didn’t care about him. That we didn’t advise him well in his decisions. At this point, parang feel niya siya lang yung may problema sa mundo and he’s carrying the heaviest one. 

I feel pity for him, honestly. But I also didn’t know how to help him when he himself led him to his own situation. I am no professional.

I tried my best helping him. I covered his ass. I even scheduled his first psych appointments and accompanied him to it. But I have my life too. I came back fresh from a personal vacation trip, when he started not talking to me. No chats, no texts, nothing. Even at the office, he didn’t greet me. I am offended kasi ako lang. He was talking to my colleagues. Pero parang may dark aura na sa kanya so its not the same funny, kulitan with our ka-workmates. And I am not someone shy or would leave anything to benefit of the doubt, I literally tapped his table to tell him to eat lunch but he didn’t even look at me and pretended to be listening to his headphones and working on his laptop. Which I found odd at all.

Hinayaan ko lang siya because I know may pinagdadaanan nga siya. Fastforward nagagalit na yung boss namin because he was not performing anymore. And eventually, had a one on one with him and gave him a reality talk. Nalaman ko na lang na nagresign siya through our boss and even on his last days sa work, he never mentioned anything. Pero nakapagthank you siya sa hindi namin ka department at clients namin ha. 

Nung nakaalis na siya, hindi ko pa rin alam bakit he stopped talking to me. Eventually chinikka ng boss ko sakin na he felt that I was only reaching out to him because pinag utusan ng boss. That I changed na raw. Because I wasn’t helping him that much anymore. That baffled me (wow baffled?). haha Because I used every reason sa boss namin bakit nag AWOL siya, di nag pperform etc etc but that wasn’t enough? I also covered him for a few work when I shouldn’t kasi makaiba kami ng client na hinahandle. I also involved our college friends to help because I feel like I cannot help him alone. And apparently he needed help pala nung personal vacation time ko, but I wasn’t able to help him. Because I was enjoying my time too and I was out of the country so paano ko siya tutulungan. Hindi naman ako 24/7 nakatutok lang sa kanya. 

At this point, it felt like a one sided friendship. I realized I would always check up on him, but he never checked up on me. Doon na ako napaisip sa lahat lahat na nangyari samin. If I was really a bad friend? If I didn’t check up on him enough? or if the efforts I did was wasted? I cried for a week until I cringed that I was crying over a man. Na hindi ko naman jowa. Ew. 

Fast forward, di na kami nag uusap 2-3 months and eventually my other friend cornered him to ask what happened sa amin. At first, dineny niya na nag away kami or anything na nangyari. Which my friend called bs because everybody knew we were close. But at this time di na kami nagsasama sa stories, sa labas or kahit sa mga kwento. He told my friend na hindi niya naman daw hiningi yung mga bagay na ginawa ko para sa kanya. Bakit ko daw isusumbat sa kanya yun. May point siya. Pero kaya nga kami naging mag “kaibigan” because you are willing to inconvenient yourself for your friend. And at that time, di ko naman nakita as inconvenience yun kasi nga kaibigan ko siya. Sige give ko na lang sa kanya. May pinagdadaanan siya eh. 

There I realized na may mga tao talaga that you would swim oceans for but not even cross a puddle for you. From then on, di na talaga ako nageeffort sa friendship or at least kung di narereciprocate. Dati kasi okay lang ako magbigay ng magbigay kahit na di naman nila hinihingi. Kasi nga kaibigan, yun yung nasa isip ko. But eventually, mabuburn out ka rin. Friendship fatigue ika-nga. And you’ll realize your worth. 

Yes, it’s been 4 years since we last talked. Pero may hinanaing pa din ako. My guilt turned into resentment and eventually to hate. I am now holding a grudge against him. Kapag tinatanong ako ng friends how to fix this, honestly, I would just like an apology and for him to know what he is apologizing for. And that is him taking me for granted and have not respected our friendship at all by ghosting me. Almost 10 years of friendship was gone in just like that. So I thank him, for teaching me about setting boundaries for my self. Friendship is a two way street. Di lang puwede na ako lang yung yaya ng yaya. Di puwede na ako lang dapat yung mag show up. Di puwede na ako lang ang ma inconvenient. After him, it made easier to cut off friends. I’m so having fun making use of my free will. So I guess, thank you.

ps: Also nahukay kasi nagka barkada ganap na wala kaming choice kundi magkita at that event. Siyempre di kami nagpansinan. Boundaries, ika-nga. #FreeWill

ps ps: sabi ko di ako magiging specific pero pag nakita niya toh or ng friends namin for sure malalaman nila. So hello na lang guys.