i think i met my soulmate in a not-so-delulu way
Sabi nila hindi daw totoo yung love at first sight pero MY GOODNESS OH Lordt i saw her in akihabara station going to platform 6.
She was about my height, 5’7 tall, blonde locks with black roots, kahawig ni megan ng katseye (no joke i swear), wearing a yellow cardigan and a navy blue shorts in mini polka pattern in an 8 degree weather ( i mean, wtf????).
Context:
At first, keber lang, we were lining up waiting for the elevator and btw i am with my friend nga pala. so nung pumasok na kami, ayun na nga. Habit ko kase tumingin dun sa parang convex na mirror sa mga elevator sa japan so nung pag tingin ko sa mirror, holy sht nakatingin din sya so nagkatitigan kami for like 3 secs and i was like 😳 LUH ATECCO BAKIT NAMAN GANON kinabog yung dibdib ko pero i didnt dwell kasi nga naman sino ba sya.
Tapos kwentuhan kami nung friend ko in tagalog na kesyo amoy yakiniku kami and amoy sya sa elevator. Then parang ang bagal nung elevator kaya nasabi ko na “uy papunta na ba tayo ng heaven?”
AND YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE MGA SIS, kase nag smile sya??? Na para bang pinay din sya kase gets nya yung pinag uusapan namin? So tinignan ko sya and WTF umiwas sya na para bang gusto nyang itago yung pag smile nya pero she didnt and smiled even more without looking at me???? And i said “ayan natawa na si ate”
But yes destiny has its own plan for us, biglang nag open na yung door ng elevator and it was already our cue to move out. In that split second,marami nang scenario yung nag play out sa isip ko. As in overthinking malala. Susundan ko ba sya? Kakausapin ko ba sya?
She went out first and i kinda played my nonchalant card, kunwari i dont care kung sang part ng platform ng train sya pipila.nag sslow down sya so i moved forward na and chose my own spot. I was in front of the line and guess what, she ended up standing on the other side of the train door beside me.
Who does that????? Ang dami kayang space. But anyway, i thought at the time na baka delulu lang ako so i never paid attention. And dyan nag start yung regret ko kase never did once i shot a glance at her kasi gaypanic malala ang ante nyo! And holy macaroni nung dumating yung tren, pumasok na kami and i stood at the far end side nung kabilang door para pwede mag lean sa gilid.
AND GUESS WHAT AGAIN. Motherfader. She stood on the other side ULET, face to face sakin.
I know.
Before you get mad, let me explain.
First, distracted ako with my friend kase galing kaming concert ng aespa so syempre, concert high and then confusion and gaypanic altogether, hindi nag work ang brain ko to simply say.
Second, hindi ako sure kung pinay ba talaga sya. I don’t want to assume esp kung nihonjin pala yon.
Lastly, i got shy. Like sobra. Ewan. Yes, i know. Sobrang stupid. Hayst.
Anyway, sa kakaoverthink ko (i was the one navigating for me and my friend going home), we ended up missing our stop!!!! I feel so embarrassed altogether and sabi ko sa friend ko, we’ll just go down sa next station.
But still, di pa din ako nag pay attention kay ategurl.
Hanggang sa nasa next station na kami and went out of it. I kinda rushed and had that last minute doubt…babalik ba ako? Iiwan ko ba yung friend ko?
So i looked back and the train doors were still open as if pinapabalik ako.
Until….
Ayun na nga. Nagsara na sya.
And finally, tinignan ko sya.
She was looking down and then looked at me.
And then all of a sudden,biglang naglabasan yung what ifs sa isip ko.
“Sana pala i asked her socials, or kahit name or whatever.”
Ayun.
My tragic tokyo experience.
It may sound OA but sht,paano ba mag move on? Mga 3 weeks ko na din ‘tong iniinda.
Less than 0.000001% yung chance namin magkita ulet and my friends were telling me it’s just “limerence” just get over it.
PERO TEH ANG HIRAP. Let me hear some real talk.