



Hey everyone. I’m working on a dark fantasy webnovel called The Last Inheritor and wanted honest feedback on the opening chapter.
A boy inherits the souls of everyone who dies near him —The stronger he becomes, the more he risks losing himself.
I’d mainly love feedback on:
prose flow
dialogue
pacing
whether the emotional tone works
if it feels too overwritten or repetitive anywhere
whether the characters feel human
I also used AI occasionally for grammar/spelling polish since English isn’t my strongest area, but the story/themes/characters are mine.