u/Expensive_Donut_8463

Im 19 years old and im on ¼ pump of androgel only , there is like only 2 or 3 doctors that provide gender affirming care in my country and my doctor prescribed me only ¼ pump for 1 month and increasing it each month. It still make me fucking dysphoric , like i know its gonna take a really long time before i start seeing changes, apart from that is there anything i can do apart from waiting, patience is normally my thing but in this case its not, im from a country with no real gender affirming care there are for sure organisations that do like meetings and all ,i go to them but still I don't think its enough.

Is there anything that I can do to raise testosterone naturally?

Mostly everything about me makes me feel dysphoric, my large chest , baby face , not having facial hair cause kids 13 -14years old already have them..idk what to do.

Please any advice is welcome

I have a few questions, i just started T myself and i would like to know more

There's one person who never tried to make an effort and call me by the short nickname from my deadname that i chose for my parents not to complain that im being too much if i tell them to call me my my preferred name , for more clarity that nickname still make me feel dysphoric but i tried to make it easier for them .

My father is the only one who keeps deadnaming me , and only puts on a show and calls me by that nickname only when hes trying to show that hes a supporting father when his sister who is quite ok calls

It feels like a knife every time that i hear my deadname and more if it is someone from my family.

My mom , sister and gf are the only one that really supports me , and i still feel like I don't want to exist anymore, why does it hurt so much ?

I have been in depression for more than my teenage years , even to certain points got on meds , had self har*ed episodes , intense breakdowns and he has seen all of it , why doesn't he care and why does it hurt so much ?