u/Expensive_Review3604

I ‘26M’ need honest advice about a situation with a girl ‘24F’. We’ve been talking since November 2025, so about 5–6 months now.

From the start, we talked a lot, called often, and planned dates, but most didn’t happen because she was busy. I stayed patient.

This year we finally met. On our second date, she came over, we kissed, and everything felt right. She seemed genuinely happy. But after that, she went cold again. Then later she came back and we continued talking like before.

Around early March, she said she was okay with being in a relationship. Before that, she had always said she was not ready. When we first met, she showed me her goals for the year, and one of them was to give relationships a chance.

She also has a demanding job right now. New role, under probation, long hours. She told me sometimes she gets cold because she is tired and overwhelmed.

Now the issue.

I am not someone who opens up easily, but with her I started sharing more. My stress, personal thoughts, things I normally keep to myself. She later told me it was affecting her and she does not want someone who always comes with heavy emotions.

I tried to adjust.

Then one day we were on a call and she was very cold. Short answers, no energy. I pointed it out. She got upset and cut the call. The next day she said she needs space to process everything.

I gave her space. It was hard. I missed her a lot.

After a few days, she came back and checked on me. We talked, but it stayed light. When I expressed that I miss her, she did not really engage emotionally.

Later she said she feels guilty because she is being unfair to me. She also said she is not sure if she is the right woman for me. She mentioned she is trying to figure out if she even wants a relationship right now and that she feels overwhelmed.

So now I am here.

I care about her more than I expected. But I also feel like I am more invested than she is. When I open up, she pulls back. When I step back, she comes a bit closer but not fully.

I am trying to give her space and focus on my life, but it is not easy.

What I am trying to understand is:

How do you tell the difference between someone who is genuinely overwhelmed and needs time versus someone who is emotionally unavailable or not that interested?

And in a situation like this, what does a healthy response look like from my side without losing myself in the process?

**TL;DR;** :
I need honest advice. I am trying to understand if I should hold on or just let this go.

I met this girl around November 2025. From the start, we talked a lot, called often, and planned dates, but most of them did not happen because she was always busy. I stayed patient.

This year we finally met. On our second date, she came over, we kissed, and everything felt right. She seemed happy. But after that, she went cold again. Then later she came back, and we continued talking like before.

Around early March, she said she was okay with being in a relationship. But before that, she had always told me she was not ready. When we first met, she even showed me her goals for the year, and one of them was to give relationships a chance this year. So I believed she was trying.

At the same time, she is very busy. New job, under probation, long hours. She told me sometimes she gets cold because she is tired and overwhelmed.

Now the problem.

I am not someone who opens up easily. But with her, I started opening up. Talking about my stress, my feelings. She later told me it was affecting her and she does not want someone who always comes with heavy emotions.

I tried to adjust.

Then one day we were on a call and she was very cold. Short answers, no energy. I told her it felt off. She got upset and cut the call. The next day she said she needs space to process everything.

I tried to respect that, even though it was hard. I missed her a lot.

After a few days, she came back and checked on me. We talked, but it was light. I told her I miss her. She did not really meet me there.

She later said she feels guilty because she is being unfair to me. She also said she is not sure if she is the right woman for me.

She also said she is trying to figure out if she even wants a relationship right now and that she feels overwhelmed.

So now I am here.

I care about her a lot. I think I fell for her more than I expected. But I also feel like I am the one giving more. When I open up, she pulls away. When I step back, she comes a little closer but not fully.

I do not know if:
- she is just not ready
- or she is not that into me
- or I am forcing something that is not natural

I am trying to step back and focus on my life, but it is hard. I still think about her a lot.

My question is:

Should I give her time and space and see if she comes back on her own?

Or is this already clear and I should just move on?

Be honest with me. I can take it.