u/ExperienceRecent9400

It's one of those nights again. I'm just staying up, and I don't even know why I'm staying up. I actually do and don't at the same time. It's as if I'm hoping for something to happen, that me staying up tonight might be worth it. It's pretty much like gambling at this point, except I'm always losing.

And the cruel part about it is that I know nothing happened, nor will it happen. And still here I am.

Shit. When did it all go wrong?

I've been practically lonely my whole life with some moment here and there, but that's pretty much it. But in the past 6 years, it has become too much, and in the past year it got much worse. And these days, it's becoming literally unbearable to live with.

It's all I'm thinking about, and it's as if my life is at a halt.

I tried many different things to not feel this way, which paradoxically, and ironically, led me to feel even more lonely.

I just want this madness to stop. That's all I'm asking.

edit: grammar mistake shit

Just want to get this out of my chest, but it seriously annoys me how people describe depression, and how much they belittle it by coming up with solutions, that not only make you feel worse about the whole situation, regretting why you even brought it up, but also absolutely make no fucking sense.

They start saying things like "you should go out, meet new people, have fun, talk to strangers and family members, make friends, try new hobbies, get out in the sun, go for a walk, try working out..." And they start talking about it like the solution is that fucking simple. Sure, let me cure whatever the fuck this is by going in a walk in the park. No, you fucking idiots, that's not how it works. And I would've done it, and I already did multiple times, if it really "cured" and "helped" with this,

I just don't understand why people are so judgemental of this specific topic and somehow make you to be the problem? And their attitude isn't really helping either. It's either "snap out of it" or "you're in this condition because you let it and it's your fault".

Anyone else heard this bullshit?