u/Expert_Guarantee_838

I wished my ex-wife a happy birthday, and didn't add an insult

TL;DR - i wished my ex-wife a happy 40th birthday today, and for the first time in 2 years, I didn't add a nasty comment. I just said its good that the divorce court is over, and hopefully we can each find our own way in life.

Background:

I was with my ex-wife since high school (since we were both 17) - we'd supported each other through various highs and lows - supporting each other financially straight out of school, relocating interstate and I worked 2 jobs so she could study a PhD and Masters, she took on the primary care duties so i could start a business, and also some space for me to follow my passion of travel writing and 4WD'ing/touring (the writing wasn't paid, but for fun - even letting me go away for a night 2 weeks after our first born). We've gone through miscarriages, medical issues ... the works. Was I the best husband... nope! I worked too hard to try and support the family (and both of our spending habits - she is a hoarder)

Our business always had pressures (and in hindsight, I should've never left my secure but soul crushing Government job - where politics determined whether you got promoted, not the fact that my numbers were 4 times better than the nearest other candidate - my office was seen where you went to retire as the good work was in other cities).

When our business started REALLY suffering, she left me - I had a feeling why the business was struggling (my business partner) and it wasn't until after we separated and i tried to get a valuation done, but there were too many discrepancies.

Long story short - my business partner had every intention to use me and wipe me out financially (forged documents, refinancing loans into my name, and the kicker - got a family member to set up a new business and stole 70% of our clients; whilst leaving me with a bucket of employees and their entitlements, $1.5m of debt, and not a care in the world). I've dealt with him, and he will be eating porridge for a while (not only did he cost me my entire career and sent me into bankruptcy, he defrauded the Government for about $5m in taxes between him and his wife - i used to be a tax investigator, so I pulled his books apart after I filed for bankruptcy... might as well do something - and sent off 3 care packages: one to the tax department, one to the federal police department and one to the tax registration board to dob in him and his niece). I also found out he was involved in money laundering and most likely had been the accountant in a $500m drug importation racket (something i unaware of as it was before my time - but it put him on the radar for the police). he used my divorce to cover his tracks knowing i was distracted, and brought his plan forward.. i caught him out... and so started court...

What was strange was every time i was in court, trying to save my career or our finances or our business, my ex-wife would hit me with a filing request (which had to be responded to with 14 days) and affidavits full of lies requiring me to spend nights putting together rebuttals. After the 3rd one, I started a sneaky suspicion that these were more than coincidences... so I had IT pull apart our old email server, and found out my ex-wife was communicating with my business partner in a friendly way - the same day she filed a false complaint to my registration board to get me suspended.

During the last 2 years my ex- has played dirty: getting me fired, forcing me into bankruptcy (she wouldn't sign the restructure documents until it was too late), spent $80k in legal fees to stop me being able to settle the liquidator for $10k and having $130k of debt wiped by the liquidator (she admitted to the liquidator on a phone call that "its not about the money, but making sure OP has more debt"). SHe has withheld the children through false accusations of drug use (so i now have to get hair follicle tests done every 3 months) and when I had a heart attack from all the stress at 38yo and i asked if she could look after the kids, she replied "sure, but make sure i'm not your in case of emergency contact"...

my crime prior to divorce in all of this was that I pulled her up on her spending and hoarding tactics and cut her off financially from spending too much. I started looking after myself (i had bariatric surgery, lost 75kgs, started running, rebuilt my time with my kids by taking them camping... she hated that; and my new look made her jealous of the attention i started receiving... one of the single mum's literally 3.5 weeks after our separation hit me up)... because she hated the surgery and weight loss, she shared my medical files between her Government work friends, so much so, that people in other departments sent me pictures of what they were saying about me and my 'obsession' and that my ex-'s parents paid for my surgery to keep me in the marriage (not true, my insurer did).

So now my business is bankrupt, hardly see my kids (my eldest always wanted me to go into surgery with her as we were tight... she can't understand why they can't see me even in school holidays), and forced her into settlement in court (i basically said take everything, including my retirement savings... i'm only 40 so i can rebuild). it got so crazy with the accusations, my lawyer said either drop it now or she's going to file a false domestic violence claim - so i did about 4 weeks ago. driving to court on day 3 of the trial, i went this is just madness - so i walked in, offered to the judge to settle all financail claims, withdraw my parenting application, and move on with my life - inflicting maximum emotional damage to my ex (I told the judge "if a king's ransom needs to be paid so that I can get away from this 'thing' i trusted for 20 years and have peace and happiness, then I will gladly pay it twice" the judge raised an eyebrow but she let me have it as she too later admonished my ex's and her solicitor's conduct and the solicitor now has a formal referral for review of her work by the Court).

Its been hard, but the last 4 weeks i've had weekly psychcologist sessions to deal with giving up the parenting side and other stress, and my depression is being treated by a psychiatrist... I've been extremely angry at my ex, so much so that its blinded the big picture - which is that I'm free, i'm working again, and my kids weren't dragged through the court system for the next 2 years. Financially they're more secure with their mother (her parents are millionaires and are literally writing her blank checks so my kids get to go horse riding and get gifts on the way back from handover... and yet they still want to come back to me and spend more time with me in my crappy apartment).

And while my ex- ruined my 40th (we had dinner plans with the kids, but a few hours before my ex- texted me that they were suddenly unavailable and no time could be rescheduled for at least a week), i let her have her 40th last night (which her parents paid for) and mother's day today - and wished her a happy birthday, without anger.

She can call me monster and live in a fantasy world of lies, but that doesn't mean I have to be like her - she can't take that away from me. The side benefit is its also to show my girls when they grow up, i never went down to their mother's level. It will eat at my ex- that even after all she put me through, I will still think of her on her birthday and i made sure the kids got her a birthday and mother's day present last weekend when they were with me (and i remembered her favourite character from star wars was grogu).

With my new found freedom from this headache - divorce wrapped up 2 weeks ago, my liquidation wraps up (with no finding against me) in 6 weeks, my staff had all their entitlements paid and new employment, and i'm looking forward to getting back on my feet... i can see a future and that makes me more happier then when I was married (I was miserable last 3-4 years of our marriage).

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u/Expert_Guarantee_838 — 13 days ago

I let slip to my partner i think she has BPD

I've only really started analysing our relationship (of nearly 2 years) and trying to figure out whether it was all me over the last 1-2 months. I thought all the issues were with me, and that she had already said she has abandonment issues and fears of separation.

The TL;DR is I'm no angel and pretty broken - and during a fight this morning I let slip that after she mentioned a few things about her (fear of abandonment, seperation anxiety, me thing 'the one', her not accepting any of the issues I keep rehashing - like space/separation/boundaries) - i let slip and raised that these are all traits of BPD... its now 7pm, and I'm sleeping in my office. How bad is this going to be, or should I just continue with the breakup.

Background:

I am not an easy case (M40, divorced 2 years ago, kids have been withheld, ex-wife bankrupted me to punish me, my ex-business partner stole $1.8m, forged my signature onto documents, falsely portrayed his side of the business as being successful - and was arrested for money laundering - i get to deal with the debt and staff - so I liquidated everything). I literally had $2.18 in my bank account a few months ago and have self represented myself in family court (very well, but just tiring) as I didnt have time to organise legal aid (I'm not a lawyer, but a specialised tax adviser in criminal law, earning circa $300k... until my ex-wife and my ex-business partner joined forces together to destroy my professional registration - her to keep the kids, him to take our money... they did it a week apart). I currently work in a friend's firm, but i cannot sign off on any formal advice (even though my old clients keep seeing only me) nor really rebuild as I have no registration. I used to provide training at conferences to lawyers, accountants, liquidiators... now i can't even accept a referral as I'm not registered. I'm dealing with all of that right now + a crazy work load.

Regardless, I met my current partner shortly after separation (we just clicked the first night we met) and a year later i gave up my post-separation apartment and moved in (yes... i know i've been told 100x that I started dating too soon after a 20 year relationship that was unbroken since highschool - i was on tinder within 3.5 weeks... i had lost 75kgs, was fit, i'd just picked up a career changing client that would net me $1m and my ex-wife said we'd be amicable and i gave her a cash advance to get her set up in a rental whilst we finished renovating and selling the house).

My partner did couple things (like renovated my old house which we worked really well - but that was because it was MY house, MY plan, and I had everything drawn/in progress so no real decisions needed to be made). The house was sold 14 months ago, and I still needed to deal with my business. But when I wanted space (the gym / bike rides give me time to think and also 'switch off'), she would get cranky, unhappy to the point where I used to go to the gym 3-4 times a week... i haven't been more than 3 times in 12 months. I've stopped seeing a lot of my friends as there's always the guilt that comes with it, and even unhappy about joining a mens lunch group (to deal with my depression, loss of connection, my ex-wife saying lies to our joint friends as she lives in a fantasy world according to court documents - i've stopped her but the damage was done).

Since November , when through exhaustion of everything (not just her - but the bankruptcy and family law) i said i need space and left to my dad's place... for 6 weeks minimal contact but i would come in (she needed help, she said she didn't need help, she won't ask for help). Adding to my 40th birthday, i spent in my office working - as my ex-wife 'suddenly' made my children unavailable for dinner, which sunk me, and my partner offered to cook me a dinner as she had the kids that night - she can't understand i couldn't bring myself to sit there with her and her kids on my 40th, while i don't see my kids. I've had a heart attack and cracked teeth from stress (thankfully i have a cardiologist and dentist as clients who knew what i was going through and sorted both out for free). I don't think she realises how hard it is for me not being able to see my kids, or even get a photo of what they're doing. My ex- won't even tell me if the kids are on medication, and told me to ask my 5yo what the dose was when I found medication in the handover bag with no warning or comms.

But i've been reading about boundary setting and really really trying to put some distance in (No More Mister Nice Guy - my partner read it, and says she hates the book and what I've become since I read it). I've been staying at my friend's place, over the last week and a half and have stopped taking my kids over to my partner's house as 5 kids is too much for her (she's on the spectrum) - so I've started taking them 250km away to my parent's place or organising camping or just getting a hotel.

But today was d-day, and we had pre-organised a chat to see what we're going to do (we've had ongoing all night 'discussions' which end in her saying 'you'll never understand me' or me going 'we're not getting anywhere, and I need sleep' at 5am (I've been going to bed at 3am-5am for a week now, and being in at work at 9am-10am most of last week).

Today, I explained my side, took responsibility for a lot, and wrote it down things so that I could talk to my therapist about (my new employer is paying for my therapy now, as they want me back on my A-game, and I have equity once my bankruptcy and divorce settle over the next two months). I have something finally to look forward to, and hoping that now the divorce is finalised (i gave in, gave ex-wife everything - money, investments, all my belongings, my dignity and the kids ... for now, there is a plan). So i want to support my partner and see a future - but all she does is flip and say "well now that things are going well for you, you're just going to do your own thing and abandon me". She has a lot of stress as well, but there are key things SHE says - abandonment, separation and attachment and emptyness (her words not mine and all within 1 sentence)... and so stupidly... on the back of her saying all 4 in a row (BPDbingo) i gently raised that "those also sound like items associated with BPD... not that you have BPD, but they are indicators on a spectrum and probably worth discussing with a professional"... so yeah... that blew up (obviously hated me for telling her she has a disorder.. i think she doesn't want to own it because it would explain her last major relationships). Her mother is either NPD or BPD - and gave her daughter hell when she was growing up; and I don't want my partner's daughter to go through the same thing: my partner REALLY takes it out on her whenever she tries to defend herself (she's the oldest at 12yo, so when one of her younger siblings does something, she's blamed and if she defends then she gets told not to backchat and sent to her room for sticking up for herself. I've intervened gently, but I have no rights).

Everyone is telling me to run... and a close friend who knows me and my partner very well and came out damaged from a similar situation told me to run. Last night, I caught up with a client, and he recalls HIS friend 20 years ago giving my client the same advice about his wife - run. He didn't and last night he told me after a few beers he made the wrong decision.

I can take a beating (I have with my ex-wife, and i haven't stooped to her level of pettyness or hurt...) but only so much. I still can't figure out if its me causing this (see above) and these signs/issues are because of the stress that I bring, or if this is what it will be like forever

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u/Expert_Guarantee_838 — 14 days ago