u/ExplorerOtherwise498

view from a window box, somewhere in a kitchen in texas

Not sure if this is anything. I wrote it real fast the other day, but I feel that although in its current state, it's not anything special, it still contains something that I could rework into something that is.

view from a window box, somewhere in a kitchen in texas

my mother’s garden is a window box 
that extrudes from the wall above her kitchen sink.
it is framed in dingy white shutters
that she never has time to clean.
it is two shelves tall,
and made entirely of glass, 
so that she can see into the backyard and watch 
the kids as they play,
the sun as it rises.

my mother’s window box garden contains:

  1. a shot glass stuffed with clover

(it has never been used for anything else)

  1. a painted wooden cross from her grandmother

(the paint scratched and faded now, smudged by generations of devoted fingertips)

  1. a pothos cutting in a topo chico bottle

(that used to be mine before i went away to college)

  1. a flower pot full of dirt and a dead plant she forgot to water

(painted with clumsy hearts and “to Mom” across the side)

  1. a statue of saint francis

(hands frozen mid-sermon to an audience of birds)

  1. weeds arranged in vases and pots as if they were flowers

(that she pulled from the grass outside because she thought they were pretty)

  1. basil.

sometimes i pretend i’m seeing out of her eyes,
back home in my mother’s kitchen,
looking at the world through her window box garden.
i imagine the view.

a rusted swingset
(mismatched where my dad replaced one of the swings with a baby seat in the wrong color)

a hammock 
(that she fell off of once, and we all laughed—I wonder if she thinks of it now and feels embarrassment)

an overgrown lawn 
(dead in places where the children like to cut across the grass instead of taking the path)

and more weeds to cut 
to plant in her garden.

the rest of my family looks down at their hands when they wash the dishes.
the rest of my family teases her for growing weeds and killing flowers.
(the weeds seem to survive her absentmindedness better)
the rest of my family never opens the shutters to watch the sun rise
through my mother’s window box garden—

that little world,
that is all her own
and no one else’s.

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u/ExplorerOtherwise498 — 12 hours ago

my god thinks i'm beautiful

my god spends his tuesday nights downtown in a concrete box,
packed full of gyrating bodies,
sweat-slick and transcendent,
drag queens the next door over 
sporting fabulous wigs held up by bobby pins, Got2b Glued, and defiance,
every one of them an angel.

i met him there, 
one of those transcendent nights
in line for the bathroom,
our skin ghostly blue 
and shimmering eyelids 
brimming with ancient grief.

we held each other,
baptizing the other’s cheek in salt and smoke,
strangers and not-strangers,
exchanging recognition:

 —oh my god. body is tea, queen.
 —babe, your makeup is eating.

what we mean:

sister, i see you. sister, i know you. 
aren’t we beautiful tonight? aren’t we gorgeous? 
tonight, in this place, within these concrete walls damp with rapture 
and rebellion, beneath a psychedelic rainbow strobing 
over our faces, all wearing the same expression (don’t we look heavenly?), 
where tenderness exists between the bathroom sink and the paper towel roll 
and love is abundant—
aren’t we beautiful tonight?
here where we persevere, 
despite. despite.
here where we can never die and we
will dance forever,
dancing to rebuke
dancing to survive
dancing to love
to love, love, love—

aren’t we beautiful?

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u/ExplorerOtherwise498 — 13 hours ago

sharing a poem I wrote

To preface, because I posted this on r/OCPoetry and got an offended comment calling it heathenism, this poem is meant sincerely, and is not intended to mock Christianity. As a gay person who grew up deeply Catholic, I struggled a lot with internalized homophobia that I externalized in the form on judgment for gay people who were "too much" or "sinful" who made "the rest of us" look bad in the eyes of the Church. Anyway, I have grown a LOT since then, and wrote this poem about a gay nightclub (the site of a lot of things that some use to cast judgement on the queer community: sex, drugs, drinking, etc). It was after watching Paris is Burning and hearing one of the people featured explaining why she walks in the balls, because out there she is judged and derided, but in here she can be anything she wants to be, and she will be applauded, and people will think she is beautiful. It really struck me, in a way I cannot quite put into words, and I was thinking about the sacred things that are present in places that people don't typically think about as sacred. I was also thinking about the idea I heard a lot about growing up, that God is present in everyone and everywhere, and I started wishing I could write something about this idea in a place that seems to signify (for some people) nothing but decadence and hedonism. So, here's the poem! It's titled: "my god thinks i'm beautiful"

my god spends his tuesday nights downtown in a concrete box,
packed full of gyrating bodies,
sweat-slick and transcendent,
drag queens the next door over 
sporting fabulous wigs held up by bobby pins, Got2b Glued, and defiance,
every one of them an angel.

i met him there, 
one of those transcendent nights
in line for the bathroom,
our skin ghostly blue 
and shimmering eyelids 
brimming with ancient grief.

we held each other,
baptizing the other’s cheek in salt and smoke,
strangers and not-strangers,
exchanging recognition:

 —oh my god. body is tea, queen.
 —babe, your makeup is eating.

what we mean:

sister, i see you. sister, i know you. 
aren’t we beautiful tonight? aren’t we gorgeous? 
tonight, in this place, within these concrete walls damp with rapture 
and rebellion, beneath a psychedelic rainbow strobing 
over our faces, all wearing the same expression (don’t we look heavenly?), 
where tenderness exists between the bathroom sink and the paper towel roll 
and love is abundant—
aren’t we beautiful tonight?
here where we persevere, 
despite. despite.
here where we can never die and we
will dance forever,
dancing to rebuke
dancing to survive
dancing to love
to love, love, love—

aren’t we beautiful?

reddit.com

my god thinks i'm beautiful

my god spends his tuesday nights downtown in a concrete box,
packed full of gyrating bodies,
sweat-slick and transcendent,
drag queens the next door over 
sporting fabulous wigs held up by bobby pins, Got2b Glued, and defiance,
every one of them an angel.

i met him there, 
one of those transcendent nights
in line for the bathroom,
our skin ghostly blue 
and shimmering eyelids 
brimming with ancient grief.

we held each other,
baptizing the other’s cheek in salt and smoke,
strangers and not-strangers,
exchanging recognition:

 —oh my god. body is tea, queen.
 —babe, your makeup is eating.

what we mean:

sister, i see you. sister, i know you. 
aren’t we beautiful tonight? aren’t we gorgeous? 
tonight, in this place, within these concrete walls damp with rapture 
and rebellion, beneath a psychedelic rainbow strobing 
over our faces, all wearing the same expression (don’t we look heavenly?), 
where tenderness exists between the bathroom sink and the paper towel roll 
and love is abundant—
aren’t we beautiful tonight?
here where we persevere, 
despite. despite.
here where we can never die and we
will dance forever,
dancing to rebuke
dancing to survive
dancing to love
to love, love, love—

aren’t we beautiful?

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