u/ExternalQuality5489

I (M25) need some honest advice because I feel like I’m stuck in my own head.

I’ve known my girlfriend f27 since December 2024. At first, she didn’t see me in a romantic way and we stopped talking. A few months later she reached out again, we met, but I didn’t make a move because I thought she still wasn’t interested.

We lost contact again, and then about 5 months later she came back into my life and this time we both developed feelings. Now we’re in a relationship, and I’m her first real boyfriend.

The issue is her past. Before we got together, she talked to a few guys and had one sexual encounter, which she says was an impulsive decision and she regretted it afterward.

Logically, I understand she was single and didn’t do anything wrong. But mentally, I keep getting stuck in loops thinking things like:

• “If I had acted differently earlier, I could have been with her sooner”
• Imagining that encounter, even though I don’t want to
• Comparing myself to that situation

I also can’t shake this feeling that I was her “last choice” — like she only came back to me after things didn’t work out with other people. That thought really bothers me, even though I know it might not be fair.

What makes it worse is that I asked her for details, and now those thoughts replay in my head. Some days I feel completely fine, but other days it hits really hard and I can’t stop thinking about it.

The strange part is that in the beginning of the relationship I didn’t feel this way at all — it only started getting stronger as I got more emotionally attached.

So now I’m questioning myself:
Is this normal retroactive jealousy?
Is the “last choice” feeling something common or a red flag?
Is this something I can get over, or does it mean this relationship isn’t right for me?

I really care about her and she treats me well, but this mental loop is exhausting.

Any advice would help.

I (M25) need some honest advice because I feel like I’m stuck in my own head.

I’ve known my girlfriend f27 since December 2024. At first, she didn’t see me in a romantic way and we stopped talking. A few months later she reached out again, we met, but I didn’t make a move because I thought she still wasn’t interested.

We lost contact again, and then about 5 months later she came back into my life and this time we both developed feelings. Now we’re in a relationship, and I’m her first real boyfriend.

The issue is her past. Before we got together, she talked to a few guys and had one sexual encounter, which she says was an impulsive decision and she regretted it afterward.

Logically, I understand she was single and didn’t do anything wrong. But mentally, I keep getting stuck in loops thinking things like:

• “If I had acted differently earlier, I could have been with her sooner”
• Imagining that encounter, even though I don’t want to
• Comparing myself to that situation

I also can’t shake this feeling that I was her “last choice” — like she only came back to me after things didn’t work out with other people. That thought really bothers me, even though I know it might not be fair.

What makes it worse is that I asked her for details, and now those thoughts replay in my head. Some days I feel completely fine, but other days it hits really hard and I can’t stop thinking about it.

The strange part is that in the beginning of the relationship I didn’t feel this way at all — it only started getting stronger as I got more emotionally attached.

So now I’m questioning myself:
Is this normal retroactive jealousy?
Is the “last choice” feeling something common or a red flag?
Is this something I can get over, or does it mean this relationship isn’t right for me?

I really care about her and she treats me well, but this mental loop is exhausting.

Any advice would help.