I’ve been in the situation many a time where I say something, what I say gets ignored and then I put it in writing and then I have evidence of what I’ve said (when down the line I’m right). In terms of meetings, how do I get listened to more? Verbal techniques or anything ?
I actually find it easier online as my appearance doesn’t do me any favours and I feel online my words are more of the focus
Myself and partner are thinking about having a child and I’m concerned about the genetic risk.
Family history:
I have 13 maternal cousins on my mum’s side and 4 have fairly serious issues. My full sister has severe schizoaffective disorder, one cousin has similar but less severe (lives independently), another cousin has schizophrenia (homeless) and the 4th is a heavy drug user but does seem to have some residual psychosis after stopping drug use.
My dad’s family is a lot better but my dad did take his own life.
My partner’s mum had bipolar (undiagnosed). He’s a bit cagey about it but that’s what I’ve gathered and some depression amongst cousins as well.
I can do genetic counselling but I can’t really get a clearly likelihood. It is a big concern for me. Any suggestions ?
So I worked hard on a presentation on diversity (focusing on technical roles but it really was a presentation of encouragement-very positive content) for a youth conference. Im not a super confident person but i hard a more challenging path into engineering and it’s a topic im passionate about. I’m a consultant design engineer and have been working for one client for the last 2.5 years. My workplace is VERY male dominated and I’ve had lots of issues.
ANYWAY, one of the client managers finds out I was doing an industry conference and she pressured me to deliver it internally to the client prior. Essentially, they have KPIs to meet on diversity and also getting industry papers accepted so me talking would help with that. So, despite some negative experiences, I showed up and gave it. Essentially nobody came (2 lovely women did) and I gave the presentation to an empty room. I was hurt that management had demanded this happen but weren’t willing to show up to support it. The presentation room could see out to the office cafeteria and I could see my managers eating their lunch there and people who I work closely with. I try to take lessons from everything but I just feel defeated. What was a presentation about not tick boxing became a classic example of tick boxing.
Just me? Woke up with inflamed eyes 👀
I’m a very resilient person (been through legit and significant life trauma). My hair has never fallen out before.
I have been on one very stressful project for about a year and a half. I knew I was going to have issues with the project manager early on but I wanted the experience.
Feb last year: Project Manager (non technical himself and fairly useless) moves me off the major design component of the project and suggests a man working as a student engineer complete the job and I “middle manage” (I had 8 year’s experience at that point). I went back in writing saying I had been allocated the design and expected to do it. He backed down, but made it obvious subtly the whole year he would rather the man be working for him (including the man in every meeting when he wasn’t needed and often excluding me from meetings/correspondence). I told my line manager what had happened and he dismissed me as “not a team player”. He is friends with the project manager “he has good Christian values”.
November last year: I finish the 100+ page preliminary design report independently, Project Manager receives credit for it. We move into the next stage of design and I’m excluded from the first meeting (I am also resourced for this stage as main designer). Someone in the meeting forwards it to me and I join. I explain in the meeting that I was, again, missed off the meeting and he would have to start over.
This year has been a bit better and he has finally backed down seeing I’m not going anywhere. I still don’t get all the correspondence because the project manager dominates visibility, mainly to compensate for his incredibly weak skillset I think.
Now: My hair has been falling out for 4-6 months due to stress and I’ve cracked it and scheduled a meeting with the one up manager from my manager. I work for a consulting firm so I’m going to discuss other work opportunities off this project with the same employer. I’m still disappointed that I will have to leave because I’m committed to the work but I have managed to see prelim and detailed design through (just not construction). My question. How honest should I be about my experience to the one up manager? I want to lay it out but I’m afraid it will come off as unprofessional.
I joined this group thinking I’d find people who have experienced similar things but the first few posts I’ve read are people saying oh my family member got better and went on to do x y x.
My older sister became unwell at 18. Went from running track at national level and doing well in school to a completely different person. 15 or so years on she’s under the mental health act and landed in supported accommodation (thank goodness). I.e. not living independently. She has had long stints in hospital too (a couple of years total probably). Never worked or successfully studied since diagnosis. The whole journey has destroyed a part of my mum. My dad died by suicide a couple of years after my sister became unwell. The worst part, we were at home at the time and were so desensitised to chaos, it was a shock to hear he wouldn’t make it. Obviously there was some neglect of the younger siblings in the house (including me) while my sister needed the support. This impacted my relationship with my mum and took a long time to rebuild.
Idk. I don’t resent anyone for having better outcomes but it’s also not a case of “not being supported” by family. My mum has almost destroyed herself supporting my sister. I honestly think it’s genetics and shit ass luck.
Pretty over supermarket quality of fruit in general. Nothing is crispy lol I was enjoying the dragon fruit for a while but now they have stopped selling them. Can anyone recommend a farm or shop or grower with dragon fruit? Or tbh anywhere else I can get quality seasonal fruit if not dragon fruit?
Diversity related, not specifically women related. Victor gave a very generic answer to a young black girl’s question on “What is it like to be the first black astronaut to orbit the mood”. The answer imo can be paraphrased as “colour doesn’t matter”.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I respect Victor’s. Where I struggle is that I’m a firm believer that DEI is still necessary and answers like that undermine the importance of it. E.g. In my country, 10% of engineers are women and that % isn’t really growing. I obviously think the skills and accomplishments are more important than race/ gender but isn’t that what well implemented DEI is? Ensuring equality of opportunity. What’s other’s opinions? Is DEI still needed?