u/EyreBurns

I am married to a man who I believe is a narcissist.
My eyes are more and more open to the reality of our relationship and his behaviour towards me and our children and I find myself grieving the loss of my dreams for our marriage.
I have invested so much into changing him, changing the relationship, working on myself, trying everything I can think of to connect, but it’s still a deeply lonely marriage. I can’t leave at this moment and probably won’t for some years to come.
So at this moment I am trying to make my life as fulfilling as I can despite my terrible marriage.
I still believe there are good men out there, and I find myself longing for a platonic friendship with a Christian man. But I am wondering if that would be okay? I know I’m supposed to find fulfilment within my marriage, but it isn’t possible. Also, my husband isn’t a believer.
Any thoughts on this? Thank you all in advance!

I told my husband that I didn’t want to have sex anymore if he kept treating me like shit. It’s been 7 months now. Apparently treating me like shit is more important than having a sexlife… I am wondering how long we can keep this up though. Now that I see who he really is, I really don’t want to anymore. But he isn’t asking, he is even saying that ‘It is his choice to keep me at an emotional distance’. As if it wasn’t my boundary, but his decision not to have sex anymore.
Before this our sexlife was a huge part of our marriage and the narcissistic cycle. I was constantly starving for his attention and love and in bed was the closest I could feel to being loved. To then be rejected again after, and wanting to have sex again to stop hurting. So it does give me more peace of mind, the distance of not touching each other and not being in this emotional rollercoaster anymore.
Although my love language is physical touch, but with him it destroys me…

I lost my Kindle ereader. I can’t remember when I used it last or where I could have lost it, if I did. I have 2 different ones, and I also read paper books in between. I really love the Kindle, and I desperately want it back… And a new one costs a 170 euros.
Another option is that my narcissistic husband has it, and is pretending not no know where it is, while watching me searching and stressing about it. The thought drives me crazy and I don’t know if I should go on full search mode, calling and going to every place where it could have possibly been left behind, or wait until Friday to see if it “magically” reappears.
Because he says I should at least wait till Friday to buy a new one because maybe we will find it.
I know he has hidden things before, and blaming it on my ADHD diagnosis. But I could also have really lost it myself…
How horrible is it, to live with a partner who takes or breaks (because he has done that too “by accident”) your personal belongings? How do you deal with that? A safe with a really big lock? 🙈