u/Fabulous-Grand-3470

I’ve been to therapists on and off throughout my life. I haven’t had any specific mental health struggles, I just occasionally needed a tune-up and I’m not scared to need help. Since my daughter died 5 months ago, it’s the first word out of everyone’s mouth. It makes me instantly furious. What is therapy going to do?

I’m functioning and I have gotten a good balanced approach with my other daughter (lots of research here). I’m not suicidal or anything of the sort. I have a big support system, have read a few books, am a firm believer in an afterlife, and my own parents lost a child and have connected me with a network of people who have lost children. I’m doing the best I can and I don’t feel unable to cope or lost or alone or unsupported.

what sets me off is when people suggest it like my grief is something to be fixed. like i mentioned having a harder day and someone’s like “you should try some therapy for that.” Like being sad is wrong..? sorry, but it’s not going away. I’m going to be grieving my daughter for the rest of my life until I die and can be with her again. a therapist won’t bring my baby back. And it’s been FIVE MONTHS. i would think something would be MORE wrong if I didn’t cry at least once a day. I miss my baby and my best friend. Just let me grieve my daughter in peace and I’ll seek help if it starts interfering with my life in or I feel like I need it.

I’m a mom of a 2 year old girl, going through custody struggles (we had an older daughter who passed from a medical emergency). basically, he wants time with her and I’m torn between the danger of the situation and wanting her to have her own dad in her life.

He had a 2 year affair during both pregnancies. He was buying insurance on a random apartment, making a fake account on social media to befriend her and manipulate her into staying with him, and using my sister’s divorce papers with the names swapped. He introduced our oldest daughter to the other woman at least twice in secret.

he always drank a lot and hid it. drunk at work sometimes. when the affair came out he no longer hid and he got a DUI. He fell down our stairs three times, once i had taken the baby from him seconds before. Once fell asleep drunk with the baby on his lap and she tipped upside down while i was putting our oldest down for a nap.

He did not want our daughter, since it was a back to back pregnancy. He wanted me to get an abortion and hid it from his coworkers and his friends. He made jokes about forgetting her name and having a favorite kid… he heavily favored our oldest daughter who is now gone.

he has been diagnosed with bipolar and potentially schizophrenia, and spent a night at a mental hospital after getting picked up by police. during the affair he began calling me names in front of the babies, and threateningly putting his hand on my throat when he was mad at me.

I know kids need their parents. He’s asking for full days, no overnights, and he’s great with her when we do supervised visits but he’s never been alone with her. he was usually fun and pleasant with the kids, just didn’t participate in any care. it was definitely very dependent on his moods.

He says he’s gotten therapy and has been sober. I do know that if he is sober he’s lying about when it began. I am careful to never say anything bad about him in front of her even though she’s so little, I make every visit a positive experience. But i don’t want to hand her off to him. I want him to have supervised visits or short times with an alcohol monitor. Am I being too protective or not protective enough? where Is the line drawn in terms of abuse and safety? I need input from kids who have made it through to the other side of this.