I'm young and need just need some guidance
Hi I am a fourteen year old girl who has just kinda been going through it.
Now this is my first time posting on Reddit so bare with me here (though I have seen a ton of Smosh read Reddit stories so I think I got the jist)
My life has been pretty good so far but there have recently been a few bumps in the road that have just been…ugh mixed with eh. For some context I'm a very social person with a lot of friends and have been described as nice, friendly, and good to talk to. Now the amount of times someone I have thought as a friend has confessed to me that they think of *me* as more than friends is insane. Like I never really noticed this when I was younger but as I've gotten older it's something that's come to my attention and it's annoying the hell out of me. Let me explain: I have never once felt or have desired/needed romantic relationships or feelings. I know what a girlfriend/boyfriend is, I understand why someone would want one, but I don't know I'd just rather have friends than a lover or something. I also always get a kinda icky feeling whenever romantic feelings have been directed towards me and for me it's just not fun to feel. (side note I’ve done some research and found that I relate to a lot if asexual and aromantic stuff but idk). Anyways with all that in mind I'm hoping you can see how this is annoying because if it's not obvious things get kinda weird and a little uncomfortable when someone close to you says they want to be more and you don't. Now I've been lucky enough for when things like this happen that they end well with us still being friends but still to me there will always be a weird little, for lack of a better word, tension. And because of these experiences I've started to become a little more jaded/cynical when it comes to making/having friends and that maybe something's wrong with me or maybe I'm the problem, like I give off the wrong impression or something. I think the tipping point for me was when a girl who's friends with my best friend(let's call her G and my best friend A). G one day texted me photos of some pages from A's diary explaining how she secretly has a crush on me. The way my stomach twisted and the feeling of cold water filling my veins hit me was like a semi truck. I told G that what she had done was wrong and she shouldn't have done it and yet G had the nerve to text me back and ask if I “liked" Amaya back and all I could say was that I cared about her for sure but have never been one for relationships. After that I needed some time to process everything and things are slowly getting back to chill (btw A doesn't know what G did and I don't want to tell her because I'm quite sure it would not end well) …but I just don't know anymore, I can't help but see A in a different light now, it's all just making me go ughhhhh, and I'm dead tired of having this stuff happening.
So Reddit what do you suggest/what's your advice?