u/FabulousLocation9118

since I was in elementary school I’ve had bad anxiety and I imagine it stems from my family being very degrading and hostile. The anxiety has caused a lot of isolation and loneliness ever since, but I’ve been very persistently working on it, self reflecting, forwarding my passions, and so on. To the point where I just can’t understand why I still have such intense anxiety everytime I talk, eat, walk or anything when someone is around I endlessly overthink and catastrophize to the point where almost everything I do around people is very inauthentic to myself and my will. My working theory is that I hate myself and am punishing myself for awful thoughts and actively choosing to do things I know are bad for me and don’t want to do Which is something I do a lot. I don’t know though I’m kinda lost.

I have the Yamaha PSR-EW320 keyboard and it has a lot of great sounds that I want to use because I have a very limited budget and its way better then the free stuff I've found. I've figured out how to use it as a MIDI keyboard but I don't know how to connect the sounds from the keyboard into FL Studio.

I'm 16 and want to spend the summer listening to music and learning about artists, genres, and so on. I plan to listen to one album a day, starting in the 50s and moving year by year toward the present. It's only around two and a half months, so I won’t reach the present obviously, but regardless I’m not sure which artists to choose for each year, how many albums to cover per year, or the best way to learn about genres and artists and all the things like that. It’s just a lot.

I would love to find a show that has very extreme high an low points there should be breakdowns, spirals, and euphoric moments that hit hard. As for the lead someone who is charming and probably leaning towards egotistical would be great. thank you if you have any recommendations.