AIO: My “baddie” friend made a weird comment & I already feel invisible when I’m out with her.
I’m in my early 30s and recently started going out more again (brunch parties, lounges, nightlife, etc). I’m attractive but not a “nightlife baddie” type…I’m mid-sized & cute/pretty, but not the coke-bottle insta-baddie look.
One of my friends is the latter, and gets a LOT of attention when we go out. Men buy her drinks, approach her constantly, etc. I usually end up having good conversations with men but don’t get approached the same way. I feel invisible and like a homegirl, not an actual desired option. But I know men are mostly visual & sexual in these environments. But it would be nice to be desired too.
Recently we went out and after I mentioned a guy I had my eye on at the first spot. My friend has an ick reaction and goes, “I didn’t like that he was short.” It rubbed me the wrong way because I wasn’t asking if SHE liked him, I was saying I did. It almost feels like sees every guy as an option for herself first, even when I’m expressing interest.
It’s not her fault I’m basically invisible romantically and she’s not.
I just feel like she knows where we each stand in the “pecking order” and doesn’t even fathom that I could be interested OR have someone interested in me. Like now I’m curious how she would act if a man approached me instead. I just feel like her reaction to say why he wasn’t HER type vs a more supportive “you should talk to him” or whatever wingwomen do threw me off.
Am I overreacting for feeling bothered by that?