u/Fabulous_Serve_3337

Hey guys, I just wanted to know if anyone relates. I am a woman in my late 20s; I’m East Asian and Black; I have brown skin, long curly hair ( texture of H.E.R’s natural hair, but down to my butt); and I’m kind of tall (174 cm) but I am short compared to my sisters.

I have lived in Tennessee off and on for about a decade now and have done most of my dating in Nashville. And… I’m getting really bummed. So few people of other races date me UNLESS they only date non-white people or they are black or mixed black guys who have a very rigid view of what a brown woman needs to be or should act. It’s so sad, those who ONLY date non-white girls (generally white men) also have a stereotype for what a racially ambiguous person brings to the table. And I’m so tired of falling short of their expectations.

I find the Asian side of my culture so interesting, as a kid i did martial arts and attempted to teach myself the language (my Asian parent is an international adoptee, so doesn’t speak the native language anymore). I got to a conversational level of a 1st grader, but that’s it haha. I definitely find Asian men attractive… but so many I’ve asked out only find light skinned girls attractive. Or they are my close guy friends… but they have never described any woman of color (aside from Asian or wasian) cute before.

I don’t think I’m so different from all the women I meet. I get along well, I take care of my body, I have hobbies, I make time for friends, I am active in my church (I am Christian flavor religious ✨), I go to therapy…. I relate to so many women and non-boys in my life.

All my friends and I are so similar to me, we like the same books, animated and live tv shows, I like musicals, working out, trying new restaurants, planning trips together… we have such similar values… but all of them happen to be either mixed with white (eg mexican/white) or straight up Caucasian. I think my blackness and my height are hurting my chances of dating here. And I can’t change that.

I just don’t know what to do. I’m getting sadder seeing friends and acquaintances who are just like me on the inside, with similar values, but a lighter skin tone be desirable and get married while I flounder to find a man who will ask me questions about my life without expectations of how I must be based on my looks. It doesn’t help that all the hot Wasian discourse is going around and all those girls are trendy… I’ve never been sad about being mixed black… but the last 24 months have done a number on me. I just keep thinking about how easier my life would be if I was any lighter color of Asian mix.

I can’t talk to my sisters about this, they are just getting into the dating scene and I don’t want them to develop the same insecurity or complex as I have recently. One of my sisters though has felt this way for probably 8 years, we talk about it whenever I visit, but I never resented my racial makeup the same way she did.

Sigh, sorry for the downer. I have no advice for myself or others.

I am a 29 year old woman. Up until this past December, I had never felt sexual desire. I would find my partners attractive and enjoy kissing cuddling etc, but I didn’t need to have any relations for my benefit, only for them.

In December, I had a terrible reaction to Prozac, it caused me to have spontaneous orgasms with no visual or audio input. I had more than 40+ orgasms in the span of 24 hours. I stopped counting after 40 and that’s not including the ones I gave myself to release the tension. (I do not regularly masturbate, maybe 5 times a year?). ANYWAY- I switched meds, changed some of my diet, and the symptoms subsided after about 2 weeks. Now it’s spring 2026.

This week I started to have physical arousal symptoms. Like noticing (sorry graphic) throbbing or feeling lubricated down there, I’ve been noticing physical factors of people that I find really attractive in a way I didn’t really feel before. I feel like I can’t concentrate on work, cause I need to make myself come. I ended up buying a vibrator (dual g-spot and suction) and I can make myself orgasms multiple times. I know some of them are for sure orgasms, cause everything swells and I convulse to much it kind of hurts. But after the first big orgasm, I can take a 20 second breath and make myself have smaller, but consistent “mini orgasms” where my pelvis and surrounding areas feel flushed and convulse, but it’s smaller than the first. I can hold that level of blended orgasm(?) for a very long time. Then I can ramp it up to a big orgasm again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

My question is do orgasms vary in size to that degree? Ate those smaller orgasm contractions just my body being weird? They do feel pleasurable, just not borderline painful like the big ones I get. Thanks for the help!!