u/FactorFearless3032

I’m 24F. My ex and I were no contact for 2 years straight. He’s not actively trying to come back into my life, and I’m not trying to get back with him either.

The only reason I even wanted us to be on good terms is because our relationship was serious. We were together for years, we knew each other’s families, our parents met, and at one point he was a huge part of my life. So emotionally, it feels weird and painful to just erase him completely like he never existed.

But the issue is that when there is contact, he becomes so sexual that it genuinely disgusts me. It feels like he can’t speak to me normally without making it inappropriate, and it makes me feel reduced to something sexual instead of being treated like a person he once deeply knew. It’s not funny or playful to me anymore. It makes me feel uncomfortable and degraded.

What makes it harder is that I can’t hate him. I feel like he deserves it after everything, but I just can’t. A part of me still has tenderness for him, or at least for what we had, and that makes it so much harder to detach. I know he hurt me, I know he crossed lines, and I know I shouldn’t keep giving him emotional access to me, but I still can’t bring myself to fully hate him or fully remove him from my heart.

And now I feel stuck. No contact doesn’t fully work because he still exists in my mind and I still feel attached to the past. But contact doesn’t work either because every interaction reminds me why I had to leave, and it makes me feel worse.

I don’t want him back. I don’t want anything sexual. I don’t even want drama. I just wanted peace, respect, and maybe to be on good terms with someone who was once a big part of my life.

But I’m starting to wonder if “good terms” is impossible with someone who still doesn’t know how to respect me.

How do you get away from someone emotionally when you can’t hate them, even though they probably deserve it? How do you stop feeling stuck when both contact and no contact hurt in different ways?

I can’t hate my ex even though he probably deserves it, and I feel stuck between contact and no contact.

I’m 24F. My ex and I were no contact for 2 years straight. He’s not actively trying to come back into my life, and I’m not trying to get back with him either.

The only reason I even wanted us to be on good terms is because our relationship was serious. We were together for years, we knew each other’s families, our parents met, and at one point he was a huge part of my life. So emotionally, it feels weird and painful to just erase him completely like he never existed.

But the issue is that when there is contact, he becomes so sexual that it genuinely disgusts me. It feels like he can’t speak to me normally without making it inappropriate, and it makes me feel reduced to something sexual instead of being treated like a person he once deeply knew. It’s not funny or playful to me anymore. It makes me feel uncomfortable and degraded.

What makes it harder is that I can’t hate him. I feel like he deserves it after everything, but I just can’t. A part of me still has tenderness for him, or at least for what we had, and that makes it so much harder to detach. I know he hurt me, I know he crossed lines, and I know I shouldn’t keep giving him emotional access to me, but I still can’t bring myself to fully hate him or fully remove him from my heart.

And now I feel stuck. No contact doesn’t fully work because he still exists in my mind and I still feel attached to the past. But contact doesn’t work either because every interaction reminds me why I had to leave, and it makes me feel worse.

I don’t want him back. I don’t want anything sexual. I don’t even want drama. I just wanted peace, respect, and maybe to be on good terms with someone who was once a big part of my life.

But I’m starting to wonder if “good terms” is impossible with someone who still doesn’t know how to respect me.

How do you get away from someone emotionally when you can’t hate them, even though they probably deserve it? How do you stop feeling stuck when both contact and no contact hurt in different ways?