u/False-Contract-1146

▲ 13 r/women

Venting - growing older as a woman

Hi my favourite people.

This vent is about grief and anxiety of growing older. Im new to adulthood. Ive faced a lot of loss in life, of people, dreams and my sense of self. Ive been through hardships at a very young age and might as well say "matured early" in a way.

As Im growing older I feel like I missed the train to the life Id always dreamt to. Its getting farther away from me. I have come to accept that I might never find my partner to marry. Ive always been of the mindset that its okay to marry late, but right now, its hitting me that my partner will never see me at my prime, and he will never get to grow with me. This is a painful realization after ending a long term relationship so Im not going to move on immediately either, Im not in a mood to date.

Im also being made aware how differently people treat women when theg grow older. When I was younger or a child, it was always, you can do whatever you want and be yourself. Now people tell me to grow up and act like your age. Having stood up and backed many older women, I dont feel supported myself.

This is a vent, hopefully one that I will look back and say I made it little one. But for today and now, I feel scared.

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u/False-Contract-1146 — 14 days ago

This has been going on for a few days now. I used to have severe anxiety, it had been going good for a while but its back.

When Im just existing I feel anxious about something, I dont know what. For more context, Im stressed about my current career, going through a rough phase with a long term relationship that has me heartbroken, have been battling a few other random issues too. Im not sure if its my anxiety causing gut issues or gut issues causing anxiety but it seems like both are complementing each other very well.

I sometimes ease in, forget about my anxiety for example watching a video, then out of nowhere I become conscious of it and anxiety hits me really bad.

Breathing, warm showers, white noise, being aware of surroundings, getting things done, nothing has been working. Im exgausted but more than that Im in a lot of pain.

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u/False-Contract-1146 — 15 days ago