Things were getting so negative with my immature parents (specifically their reactions to my expectations for them when dealing with my daughter, such as language, safety measures, etc), and the resentment was palpable that I told them I wanted us to do family therapy. End goal was for all of us to be able to amiably and healthily interact with one another. Kid is 3 so she's been picking up the emotional tensions, and I wasn't going to subject that to her if I can help it.
During the talk (kid was at home with my wife), my parents (expectedly) pushed back against family therapy, but then started attacking my parenting choices and my character, and said some beyond hurtful things.
I knew the road to repair was going to be arduous but it's going to be rougher than I thought. We will see if they can conquer their emotional immaturity.
I even FaceTimed them and one of them started lashing out at me and my wife WITH MY KID on screen. We told them if we want to continue face time, our daughter will be left out of it. I haven't heard back from them since.
What really breaks my heart is seeing my kid on occasion missing my parents. She'll occasionally say "we haven't been to grandma's house in a long time" or "dad, your mom misses me." I give my daughter the "they love you very much" but omg the heartbreak.
Love to hear how others have navigated something like this.